Saturday, March 23, 2013

When You Post on a PUBLIC forum, don't publish will not be flattering to you

Muesetta Lee Tate Holbert i cant talk about her now...she found out she has cancer..and i sympathize with anyone that has cancer.....but she acts like she is the only one that has ever had it....zahra is a survivor....and im suppose to feel sorry for her...i do..but my sympathy is as much as she had for me when bob died..none .only to accuse me in my time of to you later ..zahre

The above posted on FB to her friends. There is always a reason she posts for making such a comment when really there is no justification for cruelty. 
 The problem with this is...when it's your cancer diagnosis, you do feel as though you are the only one that has ever had it. It's that devastating when you get the news. The biopsy shows the cancer, then the worst part comes. All the tests scheduled to find out where in the body it could be. With each scan, the time it takes to get that appointment you wait and wonder if those cancer cells are moving through your body. You imagine that they have already attacked your vital organs and have even invaded the brain. The stress is tremendous and it's not only the person afflicted but their children and husband. Everyone walks around dazed, shedding tears and feeling numb.

You have the CT done and wait. Everyone is subdued. Laughter isn't heard. The young granddaughter is kept away so she doesn't notice the tenseness and the emotions that can't be kept hidden for long.

When that test comes back clear, another test and more waiting and finally that test is done and we wait on the results. Everyone is on edge. This test shows the already known area of cancer plus a thickening in the colon wall. A colonoscopy is scheduled, more waiting and finally the test but this time the results are immediate. Colon cancer along with the breast diagnosis.

Yes, it does feel as though you are the only one to have it because you can't focus on anyone else in this universe. Your attention has narrowed down to a tiny speck on this planet and you worry that the tiny speck will be leaving her daughter, grandchildren and husband.

As more information is gathered, you sit along with your family in a numbed state until the doctors get together to formulate a plan. With the additional diagnosis of the colon everything changed once again in my life. An immediate surgery is need. The breast will have to wait. Meds will be taken to block nutrients to the tumors in the breast so they won't grow.

Surgery is scheduled and the wait is a week long. The husband is anxious. He wants it cut out. He wants the chemo to stop the breast cancer from moving on. Our world is contained in this house together and getting to tests and procedures and now surgery.

This is only the beginning. Months and months of chemo, and then more surgery, pain and recovery and then radiation with the burns and all that entails.'s not that we think we are the only ones to ever have it but we are the one that has it right now in this household and it's more then enough for us to manage.

There is no time in my life to be concerned about anyone but my family and their pain.

We don't need anyone's pity. We are appreciative of the concern shown by friends here and acquaintances on FB. 
Horrible comments like the one above are not necessary. We are in enough pain here.  

Anyone that has the insensitivity to make light of something so serious should maybe just stay off a public forum where those comments can be seen and shock even  their own friends.

I can't imagine friends of that poster doing the same to their family and friends so if you allow that sort of post then you are saying you condone it. What an awful thing to be. That's not a good Christen; that's not even a good human nor are any of those that allowed that meanness to flow onto their wall without a protest.

Her accusations are unfounded. Four months before Bob passed on, I had deleted her from my FB for making ugly personal comments on everything from my personal appearance to negative comments on any post I made. I ignored it for a while.Then her campaign started in ernest.  I have had no contact with her or anyone in her family. I was 1800 miles away. Two people called to let me know he had passed. Nobody accused her of killing Bob..which is her usual war cry.  I didn't attend the funeral. R.I.P. Bob.

 My Facebook page is never used to berate anyone. What you put in print can be observed forever. Think about it before you post. I may have a mouth that spews forth a cuss word occasionally but I know enough to not post those words. I'm always amazed by the pictures young girls will allowed to be taken and posted publicly. Suppose you become involved with a public gets serious and suddenly all those pictures start appearing on the Internet. That could put that relationship at an end.
Play it careful what you post, be it words or photos. Some things hang around to haunt you.

Don't bother protesting. It's nobody's fault but the poster. Remember your mom telling you "Use your brain". Then do it!


  1. Charlotte, when you are diagnosed with something so devastating of course you are the only one you and your family will focus on. It's all-consuming. I imagine life kind of slows down and almost stops, or at least moves in slow motion, while all these terrifying thoughts are going through your head.

    I just cannot comprehend your sister's cruel mentality. Frankly. it disgusts me.

  2. Ayak: Iimmediately started thinking about my death and what it would do to my daughter. We have no other relatives here. I thought about what my husband would do if I were gone. We didn't have any children together. When a week later the oncologoist told me "we can fix this" "you aren't going to die" we all sat in that room and cried. My husband left the room and went outside to be alone.
    It wasn't over..the next cancer was found and we went through the same thing again. It't horrible. I too am dumbfounded by her remarks and more that the freinds reading it aren't ashamed of her. It realy makes her look so bad and at this time I have enough to think about. I have to laugh at her stupidity on posting it and how it makes her appear. I do believe there is something "wrong" with her. She has no sense of boundaries. It's like a Jerry Springer show with her. Do they have that show there? lol...

    1. Yes they do. They also have a similar one Jeremy Kyle, and I think he does shows in the States too. So I know what you mean. And yes there must be something wrong with her. I think probably some kind of mental maybe we should pity her.


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