Monday, March 18, 2013

Emotional Release, Post Surgeon's Visit

1430. The daughter arrived at my house after making arrangements for Carrie to be collected from the bus stop by her brother. We were off to see the surgeon.
Paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork. I was nervous and tearful at times. I knew this surgeon had the PET scan and though he didn't order that test, I had a copy sent to him and the ordering physician. The ordering physician always gets a copy and is usually the one that reveals to the patient the results. Maybe this surgeon will share and I won't have to wait until Thursday when I see the oncologist who ordered this test.
I thought about the bottle of Klonopin in my purse. Was it time to swallow one? I opted to wait.
Soon we were escorted back to the exam room. The husband chose not to be there for the physical examination.  The daughter sat with me and waited for the doctor to appear.
He looked at the CT scan and then the PET scan. The PET scan results were the cause of anxiety. '
The PET scan showed clear on any other signs of cancer in the the body but more tumors were noted in the right breast,
It did show thickening in the colon and diverticulitis. I'm now scheduled for a colonoscopy which will happen in the next few days. A mediport will be placed on the left chest wall on Friday morning. The day before  I will be seeing the oncologist. I expect chemo will be started after the mediport on Friday. I'll know more about this part on Thursday.
Surgery will be in about 3 months after the tumors are shrunk. A mastectomy is recommended. Then radiation.
Next stop was the Park Place surgery center for an EKG and to pre register for the surgery on Friday.
This afternoon will be spent waiting on calls for the scheduling of the colonoscopy and the mediport.
I swallowed a Klonopin. The relief of hearing the results of the PET scan, I thought would be calming but instead I let all the pent up anxiety came through and the collapse came.
I'm ready to go the next step. I want to progress through this and get back to a life that was some what the life I had before this train wreck.
The Klonopin has kicked in. I think I'll go take a long nap. 



  2. I love you so much and I will be there EVERY step of the way..... so bring extra panties everywhere we go the rest of your tears will be of laughter and quickly followed with QUIT!!!! I GOTTA PEE

  3. Yes, a relief! and yes the next months won't be fun filled time...and I have you and a few others to stay by my side!
    Love ya sis!

  4. have been a rock through all this...You have picked up that phone on the first ring knowing I just needed to hear your voice. You have passed out many hugs and much love. You have listened to the doctors when I wasn't able to concentrate or gather the appointment times.
    I'm so grateful for you and I love you bunches!

    Clean up on aisle 3...omg..that was awful!

  5. Charlotte I wish I was there to give you a big hug. It's good to let the tears flow and let out the anxiety. It will give you renewed strength to get through this.

    What would we do without our daughters? There for us when we need them. I don't know April of course, but her words on here and on Facebook tell me that she is a strong woman and a wonderful daughter, and you'd be lost without her.

    You have quite a battle to face, but you can do it. Sending you lots of love xxx

  6. April is strong but she has rode this emotional roller coaster too and I know it has been draining on her. The husband has stood strong though I could tell how owrried he is. He kept telling me "they are going to fix it. you will be fine." It was like a mantra re kept repeating.

    The next year will have it's challenges and painful surgical procedures but at least the wheels are in mootion. Sometimes when I'm lying in my bed and things appear back to normal, I delude myself into thinking we can just ignore this and get back to our usual programming. That only lasts a few seconds. I have to kick that away and face what is coming and right now it is coming on. I think something is scheduled every day this week.


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