Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Wednesday, March 6th

It was Tuesday. Yesterday. The daughter and the husband and I made our way to OLOL Imaging Center. We sat together in the waiting room while I did the usual paperwork. The wait wasn't long. I was called to the second waiting room where I was given barium to drink. Two pints were left sitting on the table while the staff bought me a straw I had requested. The daughter joined me to wait. I managed to get 1  1/2 of that stuff swallowed before I felt as though all of it was going to come back up.

The tech arrived in about 20 minutes. I nixed the bra and the slacks and in my t shirt and the paper shorts supplied by the tech, I climbed up on the CT table. An IV was started with a butterfly needle.  The scan was done without contrast and then via the needle the iodine contrast was sent mechanically into the vein. This test went much faster then anticipated. We were out of there and back home to wait for the second test which is today at 1100. An MRI of the right breast is scheduled.

The emotional roller coaster has been wicked. My daughter is inconsolible. As an only child and no siblings to lean on, this is especially tough on her. It is still too early  in this diagnosis to know how to deal with it except to cry.

My general practioner called yesterday and prescribed some Klonopin and some Lexapro. I was grateful. The thoughts never stop. Projection is difficult not to do. We are all frightened.

I could go on but yesterday was a day of numbness for all of us on what was going on around us. We have been compressed into one little area with one big fear. It's smothering.

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