Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Is It Just Me That Thinks this Is Beautiful?

ok...maybe not so much after seeing these on the computer.

I whined to the doctor about how bored I was and he was pleasantly satisfied that I was doing as told which is nothing. He inspected the foot and noted the swelling had decreased and was happy. The physician assistant (PA) had me doing some gymnastic like moves frozen in place so that he could remove the stitches. That wasn't a painful event but I didn't expect it to be. The splint and wrapping were replaced and I was sent on my way and as I exited by the bookkeeping lady, she sang out "no charge" which put a smile on MY face.
I even had the husband take me to this appointment and pick me up and nobody even asked this time how I had gotten there. Wouldn't you know it?  If I had driven myself they wouldn't have known.
I'm following the instructions of keeping my foot over my head and, with a smile, the doctor said "it's only for another 6 weeks". Easy for him to say. His stride looks fine.
The husband just received a call to hit the road. He is headed to a location to help another employee with that job until the one slated for him comes up. He will start today and drive 1/2 way there then finish the drive tomorrow. Back on the payroll and that's a good thing.
I'll be flying solo again; I just checked to make sure I had my car keys. That's JUST IN CASE of emergency and I might need to go ...uh...Somewhere?  Anywhere?   Stir crazy-get of the house?
I'm going to get a piece of cheese, an iced tea and a nap and in that order.

Seeing The Surgeon

At least this is a more decent hour to awaken. I opened my eyes at 0400 and raised my head to peer at the clock with the green digitally displayed numbers that eventually came into focus. Punching the pillow into a different shape, I wiggled my head back into it and closed my eyes to wait for sleep to return and wonder of wonders, it did!
Down the hall in my wheelchair at 0500 with a stop at the bathroom, I finally rolled to the front door where I jerked it open to have a first look at the day. The huge full moon stared back at me. It was low in the sky and almost eye level to my position in my chair. A slight haze hung in the air and the air had lost it's nip. It appears as though we are in for another wonderful spring day.
At 1000 hrs. I will be at the surgeon's office for his inspection of my wound site. I don't expect much change from this visit. There won't be a walking boot offered. It's too early and he did say at the outset of this adventure, that I would be non weigh bearing for two months and I'm sure he will continue with those orders.
I can now spin that wheelchair on a dime, learned to cut a 90 degree corner and lately I've been eyeing those wheelie bars and curious as to how much support they would offer should a wheelie be popped and get out of control. I'm not saying I'm ready for a wheelchair Olympics but I can see how those that use them a lot could be driven to learn some tricks with them.
I'm closing this temporally until after my doctor's visit and at that time I shall return with an update. I might even post pictures. Aren't you excited?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I Really Shouldn't Be up This Early

and I have no idea why I am out of bed before the crack of dawn. Isn't it that crack of dawn that signifies it's early and getting up then would be considered early enough? Oh, but not me. I'm betting even the people working the graveyard shift are taking a nap on their jobs at the time I roll out of bed. I promise myself a nap when this happens and that usually doesn't happen either.

Carrie called her Poppy yesterday afternoon and requested she be picked up and that's exactly what her Poppy did. He drove to her house and returned with her in a few minutes. She rode her pink jeep around the yard and stayed outside until it was time to enjoy the exotic meal her Poppy was preparing. Last night she enjoyed dinosaur meat that was prepared on the grill. She was so excited when she asked Poppy what he was cooking and when he replied "dinosaur meat"; she looked forward to her share at dinner. She ate two of the boneless ribs that had been rechristened "dinosaur meat". I'm envisioning her asking her mother to fix her some dinosaur.
The renovation at the daughter's house has picked up speed. They actually got all the drywall up, primed and painted yesterday. It's a small room but still a lot of work was done and today maybe the flooring will go in. I'm so excited. This will be Carrie's new room. I just sit and watch; I'm on restricted duty.
The husband is making a trip to pick up some flowers for the mailbox garden and this little trip is a cause for major celebration. I'm going with him. I can ride in the back seat of the truck and prop my leg on the arm rest between the front seats. I'll be following doctors' orders while getting out of here for a while. It will be 7 days tomorrow that I have been confined to the sofa and the wheelchair. I've stayed out of my car; the husband was home and there was no way I was going to be able to sneak by him. Tomorrow at 1000 hrs I will be back to visit the surgeon. Hopefully, some of the swelling has decreased and he is happy with all the boredom the sofa has supplied this past week.
I'll need to make this a short trip. I'm guessing I'll be asleep on the sofa by 1300 hrs so let the trip begin!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Is it Possible?

From the time of my birth until my grandmother passed away and I grew to be a mid-teen, I spent as much time with my Nana as possible. The grandfather and grandmother owned a lot of property just outside of Charleston, WV. PawPaw did many things to support his family and all of his labors related to his land. He had a dairy where he fed and milked cows, mucked out the stalls and laid fresh hay. He raised registered Herefords and owned a registered bull that generated income from studding him out. He raised, mowed and bailed hay for these animals, had horses and a blacksmith shop and more then one vegetable garden. He sold eggs collected from the hens he raised to his list of customers. His was a life of self sufficiency. There were gas wells on his land and a small income was realized from these plus the added benefit of free gas for all the houses.
On this land was his house which set at the highest point on his land and just down the little dirt road and on a lower elevation stood another home where a son or daughter would live, depending on how newly married they were and further down the road and a few more curves away was tucked another house into the hillside. None of these houses were more then a mile apart but still mostly unviewable from each location.
Water wells supplied these houses and none of them had indoor bathrooms. Each house had it's own garden plot and the whole compound was available to each family for horseback riding, hiking and hiding. There was no paved road or even a main road that was close by. To get to the main road was quite the walk for young children but hand in hand we made that walk to get to the little one room school that was within sight after reaching the main road. Through the snow we trudged in the winter and the mud in the spring and the dust in the summer; 5 children walked this road. It would have been unheard of at that time to load the children up and deliver them to school. I was barely 5 yrs old and I can still remember the depth of the snow during those winter walks.
Bath time was filling a square tub with warm water and in the summer time this was always done outdoors. I still remember this. Staying with the grandparents and having a bath was a total treat. They had a long metal tub where you could actually stretch out full length and if you were just 5yrs old you could float in the water. Baths were short. We didn't get to add more warm water when it would cool down. That was the time you knew your bath was finished.
I remember my Nana standing me up in that tub to scrub my back, behind my ears and my legs. She would tell me "I'll wash down as far as possible and up as far as possible and you can wash "Possible".
Until I was quite older, I associated the word "possible" with the area grandmother allowed me to wash. Can you imagine my confusion when I would hear that word in conversation and try to relate the conversations to my bath time?
"Is that possible?", "It's possible!", "That's imPossible", "a possibility?", "not possible!"
Being a quiet child, I would listen wide eyed at the adults; my small collection of gray cells cataloguing all these exclamations, sorting and filing them away to ponder for the next few years. I don't know exactly when I finally discovered that the conversations I had heard had nothing to do with my bath but to this day, the word "possible" has the ability to conjure up visions of my bath in that metal tub.
Carrie takes a bath and her mother tells her to wash her "fancy". Can you see where I'm going with this? How many times will she hear the word "fancy" and where will her gray cells take her? "a fancy house', fancy clothes, fancy car, and on and on. Poor Carrie.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

"I Told ya So"

Don't ya just hate, hate, hate it when someone is soooooooooooooo right and you just know they are saying either to your face or behind your back, "I told ya so!"

Some people will go to great lengths to avoid this event.

Ignoring the event, the happening or non happening of said event, or lying about what is actually happening to merely avoid the receiving of that phrase "I told ya so" will cause some to go to these extremes.

I'm not that hell bent on avoiding that phrase most of the time although I still dislike it; I'm just to lazy to go through all that drama to escape someones evaluation of my intelligence and I think that's where all the loathing of that term originates. Hey, I don't doubt my intelligence; sometimes our decisions are not routed through our intellect. Emotions and our life experiences other then our IQ factor in to what or how we decide.

All this and only because I was told that I would have a cell phone before the week was up. Soon I'll be holding a Sony Erickson Walkman phone in my hand. The husband is off to Walmart to secure a bright red Walkman phone; he tells me that it is the closest one can get to the Razor phone I so loved. Apparently one of the fellows on the rigs had that same phone and had nothing but high praise for it. I'm just hoping that fellow wasn't wearing bib overalls, had most of his teeth and could read flawlessly and effortlessly.

Opinions are a scary thing. It depends on who is giving them out.

I'm waiting on the husband and my shiny new phone. I'm not hiding. I'm announcing that the "I told you so" won't bother me a bit. It's red. The phone I mean. I'm excited. I'll let ya know what I think of it in a few days.

Dear Ambien

We have been friends for weeks and weeks now and although some nights come and go where we don't contact each other, I know you are there should I need you.

When we partner up on those nights I need you, I blissfully and without conscience shut my eyes and awake 6 hrs later and that as it should be and what was a promise from you.

What happened? Did something happen to cause you to think I was no longer in favor of this relationship and all that it promised? Did you expire, or just become worn down in this relationship?

I'm looking forward to an answer from you because, personally my friend, last night sucked and as I stared at the clock at 0200 hrs. I couldn't help but wonder where you were and what you were doing.

I'm awaiting an answer before this nightfall.
The one with the reddened eyes and the swollen eyelids.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

I and Phone Envy

Ah, the weather, the food, the iPhone. I had a very interesting afternoon that started with a phone call from my friend Joy. Her ex who is still her friend bought an iPhone and still didn't know how to place a call or receive a call and would I care to teach him to use it? Moi? Why, of course I would love to do that; just bring it right over here. I hung up my phone and waited. Soon they showed up and met me on the patio where I had planted myself to get a little fresh air and sunshine.

Soon I was delving into that iPhone. I've never used one before and only had a passing glance at a friends' when he was showing me the pictures he had taken with his. Quietly I sat and started learning. Sliding the locked key to the off position led me to the icons on the face and from there it was just a matter of experimentation. I was hooked. You have constant internet access....satellite enabled. You don't have to find a hotspot to get online. AWESOME! I skittered around the icons, the web, the photos, ring tones, maps and more. I want one. I don't want to pay 100.00 a month for an iPhone. I can't justify doing that. I like gadgets and this one is a winner.
I'm in the market for a new cell phone. I need one that will ring when someone is trying to reach me and that will also send out a call to anyone I'm trying to reach.
Excuse me while I have a little argument with myself.
I do not need an iPhone. I keep telling myself that and maybe I will believe it soon. I have a laptop. I don't need internet access constantly. I can take the laptop if I need to and find Wi-Fi somewhere. I would prefer the laptop to the small iPhone screen. How am I doin? Convinced yet? It's that 100.00 a month that I object to. Maybe in a few years the price will come down. More of them are being developed by other companies and the competition as in other electronics will cause the price to drop and I'll just wait.
Ok, I'm done now. I think I'll stay away from the phone store for a while. I'm currently using an old Razor phone that was the husbands' spare phone. Did I mention that I crunched my LSU colored cell phone in the wheels of my wheelchair the first day I had to use the dang chair? That was the day of surgery and I was grogged out from pain killers and when it got hung up in the chair, instead of levering myself up and out of the chair, I pulled on the smock with the phone in the pocket of it that was trapped in the wheels of that chair and I ripped the damn thing into. The cell phone,I mean. I could have cried and may have. I don't remember much of that day. I'll go get a new phone but I think I may have to wait till the memory of that iPhone fades a bit.
Until then you will have to excuse me if I answer that old Razor phone with a yell.
I can't hear a thing through it so I don't know if anyone is on the other end. It rings nice and loud but the ear/hearing end of it sucks. I have to put it on "speaker" in order to hear anyone that calls.
Always somethin huh?

My View on This

Some times a picture tells the whole story and this picture follows that premise. Yep, this is just about what you will see should you stop by to visit. Any hour of the day and until around 2100 hrs where you will find the background scenery changes to the wall in my bedroom.
I have another doctor's appointment next Wednesday. He will remove this dressing and splint and check the wound site for signs of infection, smear some betadine cream on it and re wrap. He may not do X Rays this time which might save me an extra 150.00 for the visit. I doubt that I will be given my "walking papers" which in my case translates to a boot. I'll be off this foot for another 6 weeks after THAT visit and that is almost a week away but it sounds better then 7 weeks right now. I'm not making sense? I can't argue that.
I sit here and think about prison and being locked away. Then I imagine myself not being a conformist type and ending up in solitary confinement. No TV, no windows, no wheelchair to roll from room to room or unable to crutch it to the outside. Wouldn't that cause your brain to go mush like?
Assembly line work was never my cup of tea but I have huge respect for someone that can do it or do what is called "piece work" where you get paid for each piece or pound of work produced. Please, just pull my teeth without Novocaine. I wouldn't hurt worse. To sit for long periods of time has never been one of my talents. I move and I move a lot.
I've decided to weigh in on the date I visit my doctor. I'll do it before I go and one day later. Weigh ins should be done in the morning so I'll do the second weigh in the morning after the visit as I won't be back home till the afternoon on Dr. day. It's totally sad when the only thing that you can plan to do is a weigh in and a shower which is scheduled every two days.
This healthy eating plan is great as long as you have someone preparing the healthy meals and using a lot of creativity. That would be the husband. When he leaves town, I'll be eating Lean Cuisines again but for now I'm enjoying his pleasure in cooking. Tonight he is marinating chicken wings and grilling them along with some rice dish and I'm sure it won't be plain white rice. That would be too easy. He should have been a chef. Not only does he enjoy cooking but when he plates up the food, a picture of it could grace the cover of Bon Apetit.
Just to throw a wrinkle into my daily activities, I might just take a shower. Now, how's that for being spontaneous? I'm not due one till tomorrow.
My foot and I will be watching a lot of CNN, cruising the net and starting a new novel. I must end this now as I have so much to do and so little time (again with the sarcasm).
I'm done.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Oh, and

I'm not getting out of my pajamas today. What's the point. They look much like my normal attire, capris and a night shirt so whose to know? More crutch exercise and then to the kitchen to brush my teeth and to the office to put a wee bit of makeup on to brighten my face. You're wondering why I have the toothpaste and toothbrush in the kitchen and my makeup in the office? It works better that way although half the time I can't remember if I've brushed my teeth or not. Normally pre surgery I would make the mandatory bathroom stop in the morning and while half asleep, brush my teeth before exiting the bathroom. Now it's not an automatic thing and I find some time during the day I'm questioning whether I brushed or not. The makeup at the office desk allows me to roll up and apply some makeup while in my chair. Convenience is the key word in my life now. I feel disorganized.

Weight in shows a plus pound and I'm attributing it to the new dressing that was applied. Hey! More cotton, much more cotton in the wrap could weight a lb. couldn't it? I'm going with that and I'll do another weigh in a few days from now to see if the scale slid down the line a little. I should have weighted when I came home from the doctor's office soon after he changed this dressing.

Right now I'm looking forward to more salad with chicken for lunch and then a trip to the patio with my book, blanket and some sunshine. I'll publish this later just in case something earth shattering should happen and need to be included in this post (sigh) ...01100 hrs.

2100 hrs:
Salad with grilled chicken strips; the remains of what was left from our dinner last night and it was still a tasty treat that I enjoyed while sitting in the reclining mesh chair on the patio at noon. I covered myself in a lightweight blanket while having my salad then I tilted the chair back as far as it would tilt and soaked up some sun while reading a John Grishom novel. Relaxed.
I soon moved into the house and back to the sofa. The husband was going to the market and didn't want me alone outside. I read, watched TV and napped, never breaking that thread of relaxation. Dinner rocketed along and a large white plate with a decent mound of mixed lettuce greens, olives, cherry tomatoes, purple onion slices and finely shredded carrot pieces with sprinkles of fresh blue cheese chunks beneath a dressing of blu cheese surrounded by grilled shrimp was served. I'm so happy someone in this house enjoys being in a kitchen. Dinner was worth the wait.
I'm making a promise to myself and one I've not kept secret from the husband. When this foot gets healthy and well, I want to go on a vacation that involves using my newly renewed passport. I have visions of revisiting Florence, Rome and Venice. I even suggested, should he want to stay home, I will travel with my brother and sister in law this fall to Germany. I'm pass due on a big trip; a break in the monotony.
Excuse me while I prop my foot back into space; an elevation above the heart. I'm trying to be compliant.

Nothing Much Planned

What happened to my night? I quickly fell asleep around 2100 hrs. and awoke promptly at 0200 hrs. Dragging myself into the wheelchair, I backed it up and cleared the foot of the bed, twirled the chair and headed for the door, this done in the dark. On the way to the living room, I had to make a bathroom stop so I had to park the chair, and plant my left foot on the floor and push with that foot and my hands to get in an upright stance, grab the crutches and crutch swing to the toilet. I'm having the best time. I have to reverse this order of operation to get back to the chair and repeat it once again to get to the sofa. I should have the arms and shoulders of a gymnast in a few weeks or I'm going to look like one of those giant hairy gorillas with the broad shoulders that can swing walk with those long arms planted on the ground.
The high points of my day coincide with the normal meal times and what is served. I know dinner will be a shrimp salad and again, I'm excited. It doesn't take a lot these days to get my pulses strumming at a higher rate. Since we rarely eat 3 times a day, the meal times quickly turn into milestones for me. I don't want to even think about how sad and empty my life is now. Please don't cry for me.(said with back of hand pressed to forehead) I just have to be strong and patient..............oh! Good gosh, I'm making myself nauseous.
Boredom is a slow death for me.
I do have one thing planned. I'm going to weigh myself and hope the numbers are uplifting and not depressing. Even without weighing myself, the clothes tell the story and in two words, "stuff fits". I'm anticipating the wonderful day when something is too large for me and "doesn't fit" again. I can imagine myself flinging those capris, shorts and shirts in a pile in the corner of the room and sighing while I mutter, "nothing fits" and say it because those clothes were too big instead of too small. Then I'll look into that closet, shake my head at having nothing to wear and grab my purse and wallet and march to my car where I will point it in the direction of the mall and shop for a complete closet full of new clothes to fit my svelte new body and compliment my face which has magically unaged 20 yrs.
Whoa.......did I fall asleep for a moment and have a dream? See what happens when boredom wins?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Has it been a week yet?

Oh my. This will never do. For the most part of this day I have been on the sofa with my right leg flung up and over the back of it. My bandaged, 6.5 lbs. of bandages and foot point toward the ceiling well above my heart. I sight along that foot and see the top of the door frame and beyond that the ceiling. If I sight forward, I view this laptop and to the left the coffee table and beyond that, the big screen T.V. I sip on a chilled can of Nestea Diet Iced Tea, munch on a few tortilla rounds and grit my teeth. I'm expected to do this for 6 more days? How can people exist like this?
Occasionally I pick up a book that is dog eared to the last page read and reposition myself a little but always maintaining the right leg above heart level. A small bowl of chicken soup was served again for lunch and a grilled chicken salad is promised for dinner. I'm looking forward to dinner.
Ok, so it seems the high point of the day will be dinner? Since Feb 22nd, I've been determined to eat healthier and saner and being stuck on this sofa with only meals to look forward to was not how I planned on distracting myself from the past indiscretions with food.
I did crutch myself out to the patio for a short while and although the sun is shining brightly, it's chilly outside; I didn't stay long but I may have to drag a blanket out there and hang out just for a change of scenery.
I can only wonder out how many more hours I can maintain sanity at this level of activity. The salads are almost done and I'm so excited. I'll have to continue this later when I find more time. That was said with a note of scarcasm.

Grateful 18

I thought I would just sit myself down right here this morning and try counting all my blessings. Isn't that what one should do when you feel as though nothing is going in the right direction for you? I have no direction; I do have an area here on the sofa where I'm supposed to lounge with my foot 3 pillows high stretched alongside me. This is my life for a while. Let me get back to counting my blessings shall we? This is what the doctor suggests/insists on me doing till next Wednesday when he and my foot visit once again. It's the swelling that concerns him but how could it not be swollen 5 days post op?
About those blessings? I suppose the first one I should note is having the means to actually have this procedure done; having it be the right procedure for healing the problem and for having a good surgeon to take care of this.
I don't know how often I can stop in here and type something about being able to see the TV over the top of my foot. It might get boring, you think?
It's a countdown once again and tomorrow will be week 1 of 8 weeks that I'm supposed to be off this foot with it elevated above heart level. Before I start spewing cuss words, let me end this.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Gory? Maybe. Be Forewarned

Up and out of the house and putting that wheelchair in the back seat of the car while on crutches is something I don't think I'll try to do again. A kindly elderly lady at the doctors office parking lot assisted me while I got it out and another lady, young and barely larger then a 12 yr old helped me get it back into the car.
I stopped on the way to the Doctor's office at T-Coon's and had breakfast. I was more then a little hungry. I wanted 12 eggs and a pound of bacon but of course I would have been too embarrassed to order that. I've lost 16lbs in a little over 30 days and I would hate to gain it all back after breakfast plus the waitress looked like one of the Kardashian sisters and probably wore a size 2; I figured she couldn't even carry all the food I wanted to order. Two eggs over easy, bacon, biscuits and grits and I was satisfied.
I used the wheelchair to cross from the back of the dang parking lot to the incline that was the entrance to the podiatrist's office. The incline was a challenge but another young lady in scrubs came to my assistance and rolled me up to the door and into the elevator. 3 Xrays were taken and then I was back to the exam room to wait on the doctor. I had a few questions for him.
His answer to my wanting to know if he thought this surgery would cure my problem, was an emphatic "Yes!" Apparently the spur was not only large but huge and part of it had broken off and was lodging between the calcanus and the bone above and eating away at the Achilles. He said it would have only gotten worse and he could understand the pain I was suffering. Marvelous! I have my answer so now I wait for the healing. He wants my foot elevated at all times as the swelling at the wound site might cause it to dehise which could lead to plastic surgery to replace dead tissue. Say Doc, could you possibly scare me any more into staying off of it? Message received. I'll be good and at this writing that's what I'm doing.
It's going to be a long two months. I'm going to try to sleep a little of it away. Well, look at that. It's nap time already.

Seeing The Doctor, Seeing The Wound

It has been 5 days since surgery and I feel great and even better then that, my foot feels the same. I'm so glad my foot and I are in agreement on our dispositions. Today I take my foot to visit it's surgeon where I will question him about what was found and what my prognosis is for having no more pain. I'm hoping that he tells me that the spur there was causing the problem and that he didn't have to cut the Achilles although that is highly unlikely and I know that. Not cutting the Achilles might allow me to walk sooner. I'm sure he had to do that to get to the spur or at least that was his feelings prior the surgery.
I'm hungry. That didn't come out of the blue. Dinner last night left my stomach empty and I didn't bother trying to correct that after I got back home. I wiggled myself into the bathroom and onto the shower chair where I sprayed, soaped and sprayed myself, managed to get back out and dressed in night clothes and to bed.
I owe myself a meal and as soon as I get my face on and the wheelchair in the car, I'm going down the street for some breakfast. I'll be back later this morning with a rundown on what the podiatrist/surgeon reports.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Screwed for 40.00, Thank You Ground Patti

It started out as such a nice day, the same day that was described earlier. The freedom, the weather and the friends; I was a happy invalid. As evening neared I eyed the refrigerator where the homemade chicken soup was stored. This is the same chicken soup that was so delicious when first served but after eating it for the last six meals, I thought it might be time for a change in menu. Maybe I would go out and drive through a little fast food place for a greasy burger. Maybe I would request they add extra grease as the diet I've been maintaining has been sadly lacking in unhealthy food that is saturated with fat. We all know that's the reason unhealthy food is eaten. It tastes GOOD! Another 1/2 hr passes and I decide that instead of blowing the diet I've been on, I would instead pop a Lean Cuisine in the microwave and save 1200 calories. The phone rang. The daughter was calling to ask if I had eaten dinner yet. I'm thinking she has cooked something delicious. The daughter likes to cook. I do not and you can note that if you have ever ate anything I've cooked. There was no wonderful meal to be delivered to the invalid. I suddenly become very "invalid" like if it suits my purposes. She wanted to go "out" and have a steak and that sounded like a better then awesome idea to me.
The daughter arrives and we cram me into the front seat of her Jeep and away we go. She suggests dining at the Ground Patti and assures me they serve steaks. I want to note right now; truck stops serves steaks too but it wouldn't be a place that I would want to order one. I told her that I thought the Ground Patti was a specialty hamburger shop; trusting her decision we made our way to this establishment and unloaded me with crutches across the parking lot and into this eatery. I did take note that we were maybe the second table there with people. Not a busy night maybe?
We were seated, menus passed and ice tea delivered at which time the waitress took our order. I thought we were going to have crisp medium cooked rib eyes. The rib eyes were all frozen but she could served us sirloins and they were oh so much better then the rib eyes and even though they were more expensive she would just charge us the rib eye price. Huh? The daughter and I both looked at each other in doubt on this information. A rib eye better then sirloin? She assured us she was right on track. We ordered our steaks, munched on the salads till the steaks were served and eagerly dove into the steaks. Remember, I have been eating chicken soup for 6 meals straight and a steak was worth blowing my diet.
Before even cutting into the steaks, the daughter leaned down and sniffed her steak and commented "it smells like they put barbecue powder on them". That should have been the first clue. I picked up my steak knife and fork and tried to cut a piece. I'm puzzled and worried. If I can't cut it with a knife, do you think I can chew it enough to swallow it? I took a bite and chewed and chewed and it grew and grew. It felt like that piece of meat got larger the longer I chewed on it. Picking up my napkins I, oh so lady like, spit that chunk of gristle into the napkin and again attacked the steak. Did I really think I was going to find a tender tasty area of this meat?
The waitress came by to ask how the meal was and I politely and kindly told her about the meat. She apologized. I sat and looked at this 40.00 meal and was appalled that any place would served food worse then what I could cook. How can that be? If I wanted lousy food, wouldn't I have stayed home and whipped up some horrific nasty stuff on my own? After eating 1/3 of the baked potato that was evidently cooked sometime during the previous 8 hrs, I packed it in and laid my napkin across the steak. I had cut about 4 pieces from this meat. It was left on the plate to be taken away. The waitress takes the plates away and before I left I told her to tell the cook that the steak was nothing but gristle and tough. I paid the bill and left astonished that the management never showed up to check on dissatisfied customers. He was standing there when the plates were bought back and he knew the steaks weren't consumed. I've seen people eat everything on their plates then complain that it wasn't good. This was inedible and the returned plates testified to this.
I phoned that restaurant when I got home and asked to speak to the manager. Do you know what they asked me when I asked? "Who is calling?" Huh? I've never had someone ask who is calling when placing a call to management.
The manager, and I use this term loosely, came on the line. He told me he was standing in the back and saw the plates and knew we had complaints. I inquired as to why he didn't make an attempt to talk to us. He said "I was busy" and I'm thinking about the four tables with customers and to this I replied in less then kind manner "And you couldn't have told the waitress to have us wait until you could see us?" He stuttered and stammered and finally got hostile. Before the hostility, he did offer a discount the next time we came in. A discount? Do you really think I would order another steak? A 5.00 discount? Oh..he did say he gave us a 2.00 discount on the steaks each because we weren't satisfied although he never presented himself and the discounted price we thought was the difference between the rib eyes and sirloins. To this he says "oh no, the rib eyes are more expensive then the sirloins". Ok. The waitress lied?
I told him, that's great. I feel so much better knowing I only paid 40.00 for salad, tea and 1/2 of a baked potato.
Ground Patti, your management sucks, your food, or at least the steaks are a disgrace and I shall never grace your door again.
I'll call tomorrow to talk to the day manager. Yes, I'll do this. I will make that call and explain to him/her.
The upside is, I'm still on my diet! Yep, going out to eat wasn't a diet breaker and tomorrow evening it will be a Lean Cuisine.

Up, Up, Out and About

Damnit! I couldn't get the darn wheelchair to collapse which it has to do to fit in my car. I shoved it back out of the doorway and grabbed the crutches. Making it to the car, I opened the door and pitched the crutches in and slid onto the seat then swung my feet in. I positioned myself so I could use my left foot for the brake pedal and the gas pedal, started the car and drove out of the carport as though I had done this a hundred times before; I have. This is the 5th time this leg has been out of commission. Two knee repairs, one broken ankle, one total knee replacement and now this heel surgery. I can drive a standard transmission using only my left leg if I have to and have done so in the past in my younger and foolish days.
First I drove to Pat's house as she is just down the street and around the corner where I chatted with her for a while then I drove to Breaux Bridge to visit with Peg. What a great day to be out driving. It's warm, the swamp road was dry and the egrets and alligators were both sunning themselves only not together. I was happy to be out and about and I drove slowly enjoying the scenery and just the fact that I was mobile. Maybe mobile only in that the car was moving. I'm happy with that. I'm moving. I've escaped, or at least it feels that way.
I was gone for a few hours and found that it was time to get home and find my position on the sofa with remote control in hand. I was tired from "crutching" it in and out of the car and to and from my friends' homes. A good trial run today but it was time for a rest and that's where you'll find me right now.
Note: no pain medications on board. Soreness noted to heel but no really severe or even moderate pain. Throat remains sore related to intubation during surgery.

Eyeliner, Lipstick and Clothes

Oh gosh, gee whiz. A quick update on something of the most extreme importance. After injection into the abdomen, I wheeled down to the doorway of the guest room and there on the rack pulled right up into the doorway, I selected some Capri's, a shell and a shirt and dressed sitting in the hallway. My makeup was moved to the office desk along with a mirror, my next stop. I'm fluffed, puffed and powdered and dressed which is most important to a woman's well being especially when the rest of me has gone to hell.
When I'm having a not so excellent day, I go the full Monty on makeup and dressing for somehow it seems a small compensation for crappiness in emotions or appearance. It just somehow gives me a little boost. I needed that boost this morning.
The husband just backed the Dodge out of the driveway and headed west to Texas. He will be gone today and tomorrow and I'll be just fine. Shhhh...don't tell him but I fully intend to make a practice run in my car today. I just have to get the logistics on breaking down this wheelchair, getting it in the trunk and handling all this while on crutches. I'll let you know how I do and if you see a large mound lying on my carport that will mean I didn't do so well. I plan on moving slowly which I have to keep reminding my self to do. I mutter "slowly, slowly" under my breath when I'm trying to do something. I also don't schedule more then one job. It keeps me from trying to rush it.
I'll get better at this. It is just going to take a little practice. You have a great day and I'm going to give it my best shot at having one too!
I wheeled up to the counter, stretched my arm and hand out to the faucets and from a sitting position it was quite the stretch. I washed the sink full of dishes and stashed them in the dishwasher to dry. Then I headed to the laundry for the vacuum cleaner. I wrapped my feet around the base of the vacuum and holding on tightly backed the wheelchair out of the laundry room. Every time I had to make a sharp turn, I would have to use my hands to place the vacuum where I wanted it then wrapping my feet around the base of it, I could roll forward in my chair and get it where I wanted to be. Plugging it in was a breeze after which I vacuumed the living room rug. This may not sound like an accomplishment to you, nor you or even to you, but it was to me. This means I can do some household chores on my own and that just thrills me no end. I'm slow, yes I am. I wouldn't hire out as a wheelchair bound housekeeper, but I can keep my own nest tidy and that's all that matters for now.
I also can be a tidy housekeeper that smells fresh! The bath went well yesterday. It was no struggle to get to the tub seat and all the shampoos and soaps, face clothes and towels were in easy reach. No stress on that either but again, it was a matter of not getting in a hurry.
Another first, I rode the chair to the door, stood up and moved the chair to the outside on the carport and used my crutches to get to the chair. I was outside in the sunshine! Another leap forward in what and where I can go. Freedom. I don't feel so caged knowing what and where I can go.
If you see a runaway wheelchair careening down the street with a female with her right foot encased in a dressing, just wave. I'm having a good day.

Monday, March 22, 2010

A Heel Update

Just a short post to do an update on the status of this heel surgery. It's sore and a bit painful. I'm keeping it elevated so that means I'm on the sofa most of the time. When I can't stand it any longer I transfer to the w/ch and cruise around the house. I still get nauseated so I'm trying to stay away from the Tylox. I'm going to switch to Ibuprofen and hope that works. I'm giving myself daily injections of Lovenox into the abdomen every morning and flexing my foot and ankle to prevent clots.

I may even wrap the foot and try to get a shower today. Maybe a shower every 3days will be sufficient? I'll play it by ear...or maybe by nose. Now to find the duck tape and a garbage bag.

So What's All the Screamin About?

I've had to listen to the most absurd reasons for why this health care bill shouldn't have passed and why it is unfair, unpatriotic? and other silliness. I even had one lady say that now when they pass the immigration bill all the immigrants will have insurance too.
Let me say this. If you only knew! I worked at a psych outpatient clinic. Many of those clients needed to be there but there was another section of clients that knew that if they claimed they were depressed, came once a month for meds and every three months for their appointments with their counselors, they could get on medicare whereby they got a check and insurance. Nice if you can get it huh? If you were addicted to drugs, same thing.
Another place I attempted to work but couldn't because it made me feel positively gritty dirty was a program where home care aides, social workers and nurses were supplied to families with disabled children. If the child was bound to a wheelchair, a van was given to the family with a w/c lift, a room was added on or revised to make it wheelchair friendly and exterior doors were done large to help with ingress and egress and one place even had a pool for therapeutic seasons for the child. Now you might say this was all justified. Let me tell you about this child before you approve of all this government supplied help and care.
This child sat in a wheelchair (motorized of course) with the back reclined to about 60 degrees. His eyes were closed, drool was wiped occasionally from his face by his aide. He sat very quietly while food was pumped into his stomach via a feeding tube, a foley catheter took away urine wastes. I stood beside his chair watching for a while, then turned and asked the aid if he was sleeping. "No" she said, this was his normal state". "So, he's semi-comatose?" I asked. "Well, yes, you could say that."
This child was transported daily to a classroom and not a classroom for special needs children. The parents want them mainstreamed. They feel as though their child deserves to be treated the same as other children. I question how much this child would be learning? He does need total care but many of the parents of these children that were in this same condition took as much as they could from the government coffers.
I'm just saying, there are a lot of health spending out there that makes no sense. The lady that questions illegal aliens getting insurance? That's the least of her worries, she just doesn't know it.
Oh..and damn the Catholics. How dare they oppose a health bill on abortion when they cover up all the diddling of those young boys and now the holy hiring of male prostitutes for their gay blade entourage! And along with those good ole boys are the politicians that oppose abortion but then cut funding for care of those same children. Arizona just got it's Child Health Care stopped. It's on hold. No one new accepted. Take a number and wait.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Whole Day Without a Gag

So far so good although I know it's only 1900 hrs here and I could still start with the vomiting. The husband made a wonderful pot of home made chicken soup. The broth was clear and fat free, fresh carrots, celery, mushrooms, noodles and chicken breast and it was awesome. I was able to have a nice bowl of soup with some saltine crackers. No nausea.

The daughter bought Carrie up to visit and they just left. Poor Carrie couldn't understand why she couldn't spend the night though she could see the huge bandage on my foot. My patience is very thin and though the husband would meet any demands she would make, I would prefer to be able to sleep whenever the urge hit and I would worry about her. The best place she could be right now is with her mother.

Tomorrow I may try for a shower. This no hygiene thing is really not my cup o tea. It feels as though I've been like this for weeks instead of just two days. I can only imagine what two months of this will be like. I'm trying to not be so impatient but as my friend said today to my husband.."she is fiercely independent".

I just took a Tylox. I'm ready to start swaying soon so I'm going to transfer from this chair to the sofa and wait for the waves to arrive.

We'll do this again same time tomorrow, ok?

I Have a New Diet Plan

I should be dropping pounds quickly now as I've switched to this wonderful new diet. It consists of once chewed and swallowed food that is then regurgitated into the small trash container I keep beside the sofa. I had no idea I was going to start this diet so the first time around I had quite the mess to clean up because I wasn't prepared as well as I should have been. It was the trash container that was missing but as soon as I got that part of it squared away, things have been going fabulously.

Translation? Do I need to give you a translation? The narcotics and the antibiotics are not resting well in my stomach. Last night I decided that maybe I needed some food with some consistency to it to hold the meds so I ate a hamburger patty; I ate it very slowly because my stomach really didn't want any visitors. After finally getting that down, I waited for a while and then took a Tylox, my other bedtime meds and burrowed beneath the covers with the heel propped on a pillow and went to sleep. This morning I repeated the hamburger patty so I could take a Tylox and so far so good.

I'm getting good at wheeling myself around the house and moving from the sofa to the chair and then to the bathroom. I get to the bathroom door, lock the chair, stand up and then hop to the toilet. It's close so there is just a few hops and I make sure I'm not hopping while hopped up on Tylox. It's all about juggling your drugs and your movements I think.

A bath? Well, thank the powers that be for spray deodorant. I suppose I could use a facecloth and some warm water. What could it hurt? Can you tell that my hygiene is way down on my list of requirements? Pain control is my first priority and getting the Tylox to stay down. I'll think about cleanliness in a few more days. Visiting by phone might be wise. Wearing a clothespin over your nose if you visit will just hurt my feelings.

I'm off here to take my Tylox; I ate a little square of Lasagna to go along with it. Peg called and wanted to know what I was taking for pain. I told her "Tylox and a hamburger patty". Whatever works huh?

I'll let you know how this diet is working out for me.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Day After Sx.

(LOL...I just noticed that on quick glance without glasses, the title looks like "Day After Sex")
Nauseated and vomiting this morning. I don'tJustify Full know if it's the Tylox or the antibiotic that is causing it.

I'm taking a single Tylox and waiting for 1/2 hr to see if I need to take the other one. One to two every 4 hrs if needed for pain and I'm low dosing until I determine what I need. An ice pack is wrapped around my heel and I want to make sure I note this. I truly don't remember icing the knee but I must have as I blogged that I was doing that. It must have been all the pain medication I was taking that has had some things slide right past my memory banks. Hey, that's as good as an excuse as any without having to use that "d" word (dementia).
Family and friends have commented, phoned or emailed and I'm very grateful for the concern. I will feel more comfortable with this procedure as soon as I get to ask the doctor some questions. He spoke with the husband but the husband didn't ask any questions which is to be expected. I especially want to know if he thinks that my problem WAS that spur and what kind of shape the Achilles was in. He told the husband it was close to fracturing....but WHAT was close? The heel or the spur or was he talking about the Achilles? I wish my appointment with him was sooner. I'm impatient that way. I want something to reach out for. Going through surgery I don't mind if it fixes the problem.
I feel as though I'm rambling and if I read this again I might notice repeated material? I don't think I can improve though. I'm blaming it on the Tylox.
It's time to pick that foot up and plop it on some pillows above the heart. When the husband passes through the room and notices I have it on the floor, I get a little lecture. Apparently the doctor DID tell him to make sure I kept it elevated and that is just what I will be doing at the end of this sentence.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Tylox and Tipsy

I was at the surgery center at 0800 where the husband left me at the front door while he tried to find a parking space. The first thing the center wanted was my check for 1000.00, the deductible for this procedure. Getting that out of the way, I met the husband at the front door and then down a long hall to the surgery waiting room. That was a short stay. The staff called my name and we headed into the pre op area where I got to trade in my capri's and sweater for a lovely washed out pale blue gown with the slit from neck to knees. A few ties were missing so I made sure I didn't make any fancy dance moves in it.
IV started and antibiotic and fluids started and a hit of Versed to relax me while I waited to be wheeled back into surgery. The husband was bought back to keep me company until the call to the surgery suite came. The next thing I recall was waking up back in my little cell with a wrap from toes to just below knee and along with that, pain. Demerol pushed down the IV by the nurse helped to relief some of it so she came back a little later with another dose. By the third dose I was humming along with my eyes closed. Ya gotta love drugs doncha? You can tell when you have reached old age. Doin drugs is medicinal and not to "cop a buzz".

Surgery was about 45 minutes long just as the Doctor promised. As soon as my vital signs looked somewhat normal, a wheelchair appeared and I was on my way home. Right now I'm waiting on the husband to get the Tylox prescription filled so I can grin again. Purely medicinal.
It's done and the recovery process can start and that's a good thing. I'm looking forward to talking to the doctor next Tuesday. I want to know if what he found was what he expected to find!
I'm thankful that I have the wheelchair. A couple of Tyloxs and my mouth feels like I ate a bag of cotton balls so of course you drink. Drinking leads to increased times you have to empty the bladder. You wanna try that on crutches? I look like a ship heaving on rough seas and if I don't look like that, that's how I feel. Maybe I should yell "incoming" when I stand up just to warn anyone in my way. I'll use the wheelchair instead. I've already ran into doors and walls and my chaste vocabulary was one of the first things to disappear. If you believe I had a chaste mouth then I have a bridge in.......yadda, yadda, yadda.
I have to ask the husband for assist but I try not to do it often. I can hear that tone and it's not the tone of a deeply devoted nurse to her profession. I have two months non weight bearing. This ought to be interesting. Then at about the time I think he is an impatient nurse, he ambles through the room asking if I need anything or if I'm "ok'. Now if he could only do the bathroom trip for me I would be most grateful.
Maybe I should end this. I could be getting Tylox silly.
Good night!


First of all and most important, Happy Birthday April and I'm so sorry this was scheduled to be done on your day. I promise to make it up to you soon. We will do something special as soon as I can be up and around. Oh, maybe there won't be dancing and drinking but a nice lunch and a movie will be manageable and enjoyable.
0500 hrs here and I'm yawning myself awake. No coffee and no breakfast and because I'm not supposed to eat or drink anything this morning, that is what I'm obsessing about. I tagged the coffee pot and the fridge with a big sign that read
"NPO after midnight". I once made it to the hospital for surgery and made myself really comfy in the waiting area, spied a carafe of coffee on a table in the corner and helped myself. Only after drinking a whole cup did I remember I had just voided my surgery and had to reschedule. I'm not looking forward to this procedure but I sure don't want to postpone it any longer. I'm resigned to it now. I'm ready.
I don't have to be at the surgery center till o800 hrs so I am going to lay on the sofa and watch the TV and hope to fall asleep for a while.
See ya on the flip side of this. That will be me with the dressing on my right foot, crutches and a smile on my face. Well, maybe not the smile for a few days. We shall see.
Thank you one and all for your notes, emails and phone calls with well wishes. I sincerely appreciate every one of them.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Is It Really Thursday Already

Carrie sneaked a camera last night and ran around taking pictures. Her Poppy and Pat from around the corner.

Funny how fast time zips right along when something looms in your future that you are not thrilled about being a part of. Tomorrow morning I will be headed to Park Plaza but by this time Saturday morning it will be over and I will be back on that road to recuperation and that's the way I view this.
Carrie slept over and that explains this early hour of sitting here at the computer. I crept out of bed at 4:30 and laid down on the sofa for a few more hours of rest which never works out the way I envision in my head. Soon I could hear her making her way down from that tall bed and stumbling, with her Dollie held by the neck and flopping loosely in her clutched fist half asleep, down the hall to find me. I tried coaxing her back to bed but she insisted on the sofa so we both laid at opposite ends, her head on a pillow, blanket covering her small body and I waited for her breathing to become shallow and slow. Since she was only half awake it didn't take long. To the kitchen I crept with lights off and found the coffee pot in the darkened room. Coffee filter, grounds and water and a flip of the switch and the brew trickled down into the pot where I stood with an empty mug waiting for a caffeine fix. Picking up my mug of hot heavily creamed coffee, I moved in here to the office to do the usual morning routine online of checking email, Facebook, blogs and news. It's a ritual and one that I would miss if something interfered with my routine. I don't plan on keeping Carrie all day as I have a few errands to run before the big day arrives.
The saga of the "roomie" that I had blogged about and my friend that was trying to rid herself of that roomie kept yesterday a day of anxiety for her. Constant phone calls all day and evening, over thirty five calls in 3 hrs., and leaving verbal messages of abuse was heaped upon her. She chose not to answer the phone but the messages were still there. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe the battery to his cell phone will finally wear down. At one point she did speak to him when he left a message saying he was coughing up blood. She offered to take him to Charity hospital. He refused saying "All I want to do is come home and take a bath and go to bed" at which point she didn't reply but broke the connection with him. I fear the worst is yet to come.
The husband is packing up his truck with all his tools and supplies; by next week he should be in Texas at a spud meeting and then on that job when it starts. I'll be flying alone here but I don't plan on doing much; a lot of reading and television and Internet will be my life for the next few months. I'm hoping he picks up a job in the Colorado Rockies. I'm ready to go home for a while. How about parking a travel trailer in some little park in Durango for the summer? I've ran that question by him but the response wasn't too positive. All summer in the Rockies and all winter on the Gulf Coast sounds like just the perfect way to spend the year. I think I'm dreaming.
Carrie is still asleep so I've been stripping beds and this might be the last time for that for a while too or at least easily doing it. A month from tomorrow I will be ............................................and so on.
And, I'm done for now. I'm done with posting for now. I have things to do and steps to take.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Non Drama Wednesday For Me; Patience is a Virture

The day is rushing head on toward me. As I stand to walk unassisted I project myself forward two days from now when I won't be standing to walk without an aid. A set of crutches or a wheelchair will be my companion and I will have to temper my patience. I move quickly. When I vacuum or mop or do laundry or when I'm out in the work force, I'm a study in economical movement. Wasted steps is wasted time.
When nursing, I wore a lab jacket with big pockets that carried extra bottles of saline, syringes, tubing connectors, band aids, tape and anything else I could think of to save me steps on going all the way back down the hall to the med card or the supply room to get these things. The other nurses knew about my filled pockets and would sometimes slide up to me and ask for tape, scissors, or a syringe. I was a walking supply cart. We get much to busy to run up and down the halls all day and be exhausted by the end of the shift.
Today I pulled the clothing rack out of the laundry room and rolled it to a bedroom. This rack is where I hang laundry from the dryer to circumvent wrinkles and having to iron the clothes. That rack is now sitting at the foot of the bed in one of the guest bedrooms. While I can walk unassisted, I gathered blouses, capris and pants and underwear and hung it on this rack. I can roll the wheelchair right up to it and select the clothes I want to wear. Getting to my clothes closet in the back bedroom would have required me moving some furniture out of the way and that was something I didn't want to deal with.
Now for some patience. I must be prepared to move slowly. Everything I do will take 3 times as long as before. It's only for two months until I get put into a walking boot and as clumsy as that will be, at least I will be able to walk.
Time is slipping away on me. I sound as though this is the end of my life. It's not the end, just a new way of life for me for a while. I'll remember to be grateful if this surgery fixes the problem. Patience, patience, patience.

Drama Wednesday

I've been up since 0500 hrs. when I rang my friend with the roomie problem. She had a plan today. She was driving to the shelter with him this morning and after he got out of the car with his things, she was going to drive off.
After their trip yesterday to the shelter and finding no beds available, he came home and slept most of the day except for the four times he picked up her keys and left to go to the store for a Power Aide. The problem is, after a couple of trips for each Power Aide, his words began to slur. She was adamant about him leaving today.
She called finally to say that she had left him there and as she drove off he was running after her car and screaming for her. She was tearful and upset and asked to come over which she did. We sat over some coffee and tearfully she vented about what she had done. She feels bad about just leaving him there but her options were limited. Her cell phone rang sporadically and she said he had called her eight times since she had driven away.
I fear this man who has lived with her for almost two years had his own agenda. When he had a job his money wasn't used to help with household expenses. He lived there free of any charges; he kept his paychecks. It worked for almost two years. A good run for him.
Amid our conversation this morning, I asked why he didn't go back to New Mexico where his mother had a house. Mom is 88 yrs old. Apparently his mom had already discussed this with my friend and said he wasn't welcome in her home. This was told to me right after my friend professes what a nice man he is except for his refusal to get a job and resuming apparently his drinking which was the reason he had arrived at this point in his life with no home, car or possessions other then the few clothes he owns.
Apparently this is something a lot of men do. Remember, I said "a lot" not ALL.
My neighbor told me she has an Uncle who has never bought a place to live. He looks for lonely woman who are retired or have a job and a home and he makes himself available to them. These lonely women are easy targets. He is very accommodating. He plays "pleasant, helpful companion" but keeps his cash securely away from anything that looks like a household bill. The women are so happy to have the company of a male and he works it well. This man is late 50's and still doing what he has done all his life.
I fear this is what my friend has encountered.
She left here to check the locks on the windows and doors on her house and to pick up the spare key that was hidden outside. She is expecting him to show up. I'm worried for her. My opinions of this man and his docile manner does not align with her views of him. Back someone into a corner and they may just attack.
I'll be home today and I will be checking occasionally on her. I offered a bedroom so she could hide out for a while. That's all I can do for now.
Drama. I hate drama. Please, give me a calm life and if I want drama, let me get my chills and thrills from a ski slope or a whitewater raft trip or even a carnival ride. I'm too old for this kind of drama.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

She Was Desperate

After a roller coaster ride of life, the lady was desperate. Companionship and a man to sit with over a cup of coffee in the morning, snuggle up to on the sofa and watch TV in the evenings was becoming but a dream of hers. The ex husband after 10 yrs of marriage was discovered, after she arrived back home early, wearing her earrings and underwear beneath the lovely skirt with matching blouse and jacket. She was devastated. He wasn't just a cross dresser but a gender identity
confused man who wished to be a woman.

The marriage over, he moved out to grow his hair long and wear makeup in the privacy of his newly rented apartment. Sometimes he would venture out in makeup and woman's clothes; I wasn't there but I've seen a few facial bruises after these evenings out so I don't know if he was inappropriate with someone or someone vented their prejudices on him. This isn't about him. That's a story for another day. This is about her. The her he left alone after 10 yrs.
She was a shopper and could be considered thrifty by none. She loved clothes, shoes, purses and jewelry and when she wasn't in the stores she was online on eBay where she would buy those earrings, necklaces and bracelets to adorn her self. The closets were more then full and that is all the closets in the 3 bedroom house where she lived. Retirement age was nearing and after 30 yrs on the job, she retired to this little house and all her clothes and jewelry. Money was nothing to be saved. It was to be spent and that she did. Suddenly she is retired, the house payment comes due every month, the car payment and insurance the same and medicines have to be bought. After the bankruptcy two years ago, she has acquired a few more credit cards and these she can't make the payments on again. I did mention that she likes to shop?
Things are tight. Things are so tight she can hear and feel the squeak and it isn't a pleasant place to be. Creditors are ringing her phone. If only she had a partner. Maybe longing for someone to spend time with has been replaced by longing for someone to help out. An extra paycheck coming into this house would be welcomed and needed.
Arrival of the man into this scene. He has a job and a junk truck. That didn't last long. The job that he had for only a short time provided them with the means for dinners out and of course, the shopping. Money wasn't to be saved. I've mentioned that too haven't I? Soon his job was a thing of the past. The two years he spent there went the way of the loss of jobs in this recession. He looked for a job for the first three months; the excuse for not finding a job was age discrimination. Later we discover he has a prison record and is on probation and has a DUI. Ah, that could account for some difficulty in this job market. He takes a job selling frozen steaks door to door and some days, there aren't any buyers. Works one day and takes the next day off as he is tired from working the day before. They limp along like this for the next year. She is paying all the bills which were hers before he arrived on the scene and he manages to contribute a little for groceries. His truck has made it's final trip to the junk yard so he uses her car for errands.
On March 1st she took a stand, set a deadline and demanded he find a real job.
This morning she tried to deliver him to a homeless shelter; one bed was open and there were 25 men standing in line for that bed. He missed it by one. She loaded him up and returned back home with him to try once again at 0500 hrs tomorrow.
Tearful and sad, she discusses job hunting with him again and he remains unreceptive to this. I haven't discovered if she is tearful and sad about losing him, the loss of his possible paycheck if he would work or both.
She telephones me to let me know she isn't harmed which is something I worry about. People have been murdered for less reasons then being kicked out of a nice warm home with car access to live in a homeless shelter with less then desirable neighborhood, no transportation and all the privacy a home provides.
Decisions lead us down a path sometimes that have hidden rocks, dangerous animals and hazards we can only imagine. This story hasn't seen it's end; I'm hoping it's a safe healthy ending for her.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Two In One

The weather is outstanding! Sunshine in every corner and the sounds of lawnmowers have already started humming in the neighborhood. Spring flowers and spring weeds are spreading across the landscape. Weed and Feed is supposed to kill the weeds and spur the growth of grass. Does that mean I mow more often?

There is not much going on right now other then waiting for my surgery date. I continue to try to prepare as much as possible by organizing and anticipating needs although I know all this preparation may not help much. Although it's painful with those first steps, I am moving more then I have for the past year. I know that's because soon I will be restricted. We went to a flea market on Sunday and wandered around in the crowds and I wondered at all the imported for fifty cents and sold for a dollar stuff that I didn't need nor did I purchase. I'm trying to lighten the load not add to it.

Today I'm listening to the news; headlining is the newest Catholic Church scandal. I'm amazed as I listen and at the same time know that the Catholic churches are filling with the faithful and their donations. What does it take to enlighten the masses? Faithful to the unfaithful. Amazing.

Juarez, Mexico with the videos showing the automobiles riddled with bullets and the reports of Americans killed in alledged drug activities? Maybe south of the border won't be on my vacation list. We used to visit Juarez when we lived in Arizona. A typical border town with tourists drinking cheap beer and buying cheaper souvenirs but it's been a few years since I was there.
Carrie spent the night and most of today with us. She was excited to be back home and when she stays I have to sleep with her. She is all over the place in that bed and sometimes I would wake to have her foot stuck in my face or get a quick jab with that same foot to my stomach. She talks in her sleep and was having quite a conversation with herself during the night. I didn't get much sleep, small wonder huh?
I'm outta here to go sit outside for a while and enjoy this weather before it becomes hotterNhell and filled with nasty humidity.

Saturday, March 13, 2010


I'm home and still doing some things around here. We didn't go to New Orleans. The husband was all ready to make some reservations as soon as I gave him the nod which I didn't. After working on these rooms for the past three days, last night I paid for it with pain that had me hobbling around. I iced the heel down and took some Aleve before going to sleep. I couldn't imagine walking all over the French Quarter with this heel.
Maybe we can schedule it another time but the time is near for the surgery and I'm hoping it actually fixes the problem and heals without infection. ..........this time next month.....I'll be sitting here hopefully on the mend once again.

I ended my marathon of home projects. They aren't completed; trim work and touch up stuff but this will be good enough for now. I rearranged the office and after doing it, I noticed that the computer in here is now wheelchair accessible if I need to get in here with the wheelchair. Now for figuring out how to get a hot shower; I've thought about hooking a water hose to the kitchen sink and running it out the window and taking a shower in the back yard. Except for the air traffic overhead......well maybe not.

My plans tonight are to do nothing but ice my heel and relax. It's so quiet here without Carrie and we both miss her although to have Carrie around it to forgo any relaxing. I'm done and I'm outta here.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Almost Done

Up bright and early and as scheduled I started painting the office. Paint and wipe and paint and wipe. As soon as I finish these walls, I'll put everything away. The ceiling I will do later. Much later. The walls in here went from a deep hunter green to a goldenrod color. It's the same color as the laundry room. I found no good reason to change colors on these rooms as they both adjoin the kitchen so that means 1/2 of the house is yellow or gold and the other half is various shades of soothing greens.

It looks very odd in this room now as it had been that deep green for about 10 yrs. This is a change but one that makes for a brighter, fresher look.

I'm looking forward to my shower in a few minutes. I then need to pack. We are going to New Orleans for the weekend; leave Saturday morning and come back on Monday. The husband wants to eat at Mother's and I want some beignets at Cafe DuMonde. Soon it will be too hot and humid for me to venture into that bowl of steamy soup that we call the 'Quarters. Not a place for me in the middle of the summer, but fall and spring, I'm good with making the trip.
I hurt all over from this painting binge. The sooner I finish, the sooner I can get a hot shower and with that, I'm outta here.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Day Lillies, Tasks and More of Nothing

There is nothing going on in my world except the tasks I've set for myself to finish before I have surgery. Tomorrow I hope to paint the office. Right now my heel hurts because I've been standing all day but I did get a lot done. Rugs cleaned, car shampooed and more things pitched out or organized. I'm tellin ya, I either won't have a thing left or I will know where what is left is stashed.

Everyone is mowing their grass and weeding flower beds. I'm watching the magnolias bloom and all the other shrubs that I have no idea what their names are. Soon the azaleas will be bursting with color and they are a sight to behold. Pinks, violent reds and white azaleas encircle houses and line the roadways. It's beautiful here in the spring.

The husband dug up all the day lillies and pulled them apart and replanted. I started with six plants and now after sectioning I have a whole bed of them. They bloom a bright yellow all summer long and I do like the flowers that bloom thru the summer. Not for me, the ones that pop a color at the first note of warm air and then are gone.
One week from tomorrow and I'll be cruising around in my little wheel chair or swinging between two crutches to get to where I would like to be. I'm staying busy and trying to NOT think about it. I did pick up the Lovenox today. It's a blood thinner that I will inject into my abdomen daily after the surgery to prevent clots; $325.00 and none of it covered by insurance. Outrageous!
Nuff said and I'm going to bed. At least if I'm in my pj's I won't be up hobbling around on this tired foot.

Some FYI

I posted a picture of the daughter on skates a few days ago then realized that most people do not realize that there is a whole sport dedicated to art skating on ROLLER skates. Below is a clip from a world competition; an Italian skater on inline skates. You must click on the arrow to play video (instr. for newbies ;-)

The List

Here in my quiet little world, we must exclude Carrie for that to be true, I'm exhausted. I've been up and down a ladder, moving the washer and dryer as though they were pieces of furniture that needed to be aligned on a different wall, and crawling over or moving other pieces of furniture all day long. I'm painting. No Picasso or Van Gogh, but vertical walls of a goldenrod colored paint to cover the "I've disliked you when I was painting you that color years ago" minty green. It had to go now or I would have had to keep looking at it over the next 6 months until I could stand and climb ladders again.

When I paint a room, if it's something I'm in doubt about; in doubt about whether I like the color or not, I leave it. I leave it until it's time to paint again. You know how some colors look great on that itty bitty paint chip they call a sample? Then you get it home and the lighting or lack of it in your house makes the color two shades darker and a whole different color? You paint along thinking it will lighten up once it drys? Well, people, I'm here to tell you, I've had a orange glow bedroom one time, a shrimp pink living room and just recently that institution green that was in the laundry room. I know a woman that will paint a whole room and not like the color only to repaint it the next day. That is not me!

I paint with trepidation. I hate it when people say "It's only paint". I know they mean that it can always be repainted. Well, I'm here to groan and squeak with pain and say "It's not only paint. It's my hurting, mauled body AND Paint and a whole day to do it and to get my body in this exhausted state so don't say "it's only paint".
I look back over my shoulder trying to catch it the moment it changes from this spice tan like color to a brilliant bright something that isn't even close to what is in the can. As I finished up the walls last evening, I was pleased. I crept in this morning to take another look. What if it had really dried and dried to a worst then institution green?
I'm pleased with the color. I won't paint the trim yet. I want it all pulled off and larger baseboards put in but that is a job I will share with the husband. It's time to post a list on the refridgerator of the things that need to be done. The list is a warning shot. It prepares everyone. Jobs are listed and we all know what our future holds. There is never a time attached to the jobs but a big black mark lines out the ones accomplished and to get the ball rolling on this one, I'll list "paint the laundry room" as the first thing and below that,
1.Paint laundry room (lined out..done) on cold water line
3. new baseboards in Laundry Room
4. Paint crown molding and ceiling
Some people work better with a plan (rolling eyes toward the husband) and this list is crucial to gettings thing done around here.
You see how it goes? I make sure that I have things to do on the list; me marking a line through what I get done is an inspiration (rolling eyes toward the husband) to others.
While I painted, the husband kept Carrie entertained. Playing soccer, kick ball, tennis and massive sidewalk art projects, she stayed outside all day and for this I was thankful. They would make trips to the kitchen to check on the spaghetti sauce he was simmering on the stove. Italian sausages simmering in a thick red gravy that wafted out mouth watering aromas all day. A bottle of wine was chilling in the refrigerator to go with the salad and garlic bread and the spaghetti. Ah, something to look forward to this evening. I was a contented painter. Little did I know that by the time my day was done, I would barely be able to sit up and enjoy that meal. No wine. I would have had to be carried to bed without a bath had I even had one glass. A hot shower and a long shower made my creaking bones feel a bit better and I still had to bathe Carrie and do the dishes. I feel a pity party in the making. Excuse me while I go whimper somewhere out of sight and hearing of others!
One more room to paint and 9 days to get it done. Right now, I'm sitting here in an almost dark living room, the tv is off and I can hear the hum of this lap top and my fingers clicking the keys and that is all I hear. Blessed silence. Carrie is still asleep!