Tuesday, March 26, 2013


Another milestone approaches. I think milestone is not the correct word here. A surgery is not a milestone unless it's on the path to something else. Another reason for this not being a milestone, there was nothing to accomplish before reaching this surgery except time. Waiting is a passive event. There wasn't any struggle or strain; just the waiting.
Does anyone pass out medals for waiting?

I definitely need to stop searching the web for information. All the forums have topix on whatever you are searching for. I noted when I had my knee replacement and did topix searches, all the information found was from patients that had bad outcomes. Some time passed before I realized, those that had perfect knee replacements were out walking and jumping and running and enjoying their new knees. The problem knees were the ones found posting on topix sites to try to find a fix to their problems.

I spent much of yesterday digging myself into that hole and had to finally stop. I even Googled a search for "good outcomes with a colon resect". The pages found were from the surgery centers and doctors that were giving out information on post op instructions.

Gone are the days when we walked into a  doctor's office and didn't mention to them "I read on the internet......"
I'm sure the doctors must grit their teeth at this statement.

I listen to people, when faced with something out of their control say "It's in God's hands." I nod and smile. That doesn't work for me. Fatalism. I can't get there from here. Too many unexplained and  contradictory stories for me to accept that. Maybe I'm just too "science based". Show me the proof. Gather information to support your hypothesis and don't ever tell me "it's not ours to question". Ask my daughter about me and questions. I should have been a journalist.

Before this blog gets off on an entirely different path, my update is a short one.
Wanda and the boys should be here today. Tomorrow I start packing and prepping for the colon resect at LGMC. Note how I mention the hospital? I do that for a reason. In a month or so I'll never remember where I was for this surgery. I have used both main hospitals for all the testing that was done and can't remember which hospital did which test. I'm making a note right here and now to refer back to.
My emotions have become much more stable. Louse called to check on me yesterday. Pat and Peggy called and my daily calls to Kathy keep me grounded and sane. They are a great distraction and a comfort to know they are there.

The husband doesn't get far from sight either. He is scheduling work as soon as this surgery is done. I will be on a healing path for a few weeks before the chemo starts.

I'm tired of waiting.


  1. Waiting is absolutely the worst thing. Once tomorrow comes and things are starting to move, you will feel a lot better psychologically I'm sure. Good luck for tomorrow. I will be thinking of you (and no I won't be praying of course!)

    (And stop googling....please!)

  2. Yes ma'm....I'm going to have to stop that Googling...I will have my iPad with me in the hospital....we will keep in touch..and thanks for the well wishes!


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