Sunday, March 21, 2010

I Have a New Diet Plan

I should be dropping pounds quickly now as I've switched to this wonderful new diet. It consists of once chewed and swallowed food that is then regurgitated into the small trash container I keep beside the sofa. I had no idea I was going to start this diet so the first time around I had quite the mess to clean up because I wasn't prepared as well as I should have been. It was the trash container that was missing but as soon as I got that part of it squared away, things have been going fabulously.

Translation? Do I need to give you a translation? The narcotics and the antibiotics are not resting well in my stomach. Last night I decided that maybe I needed some food with some consistency to it to hold the meds so I ate a hamburger patty; I ate it very slowly because my stomach really didn't want any visitors. After finally getting that down, I waited for a while and then took a Tylox, my other bedtime meds and burrowed beneath the covers with the heel propped on a pillow and went to sleep. This morning I repeated the hamburger patty so I could take a Tylox and so far so good.

I'm getting good at wheeling myself around the house and moving from the sofa to the chair and then to the bathroom. I get to the bathroom door, lock the chair, stand up and then hop to the toilet. It's close so there is just a few hops and I make sure I'm not hopping while hopped up on Tylox. It's all about juggling your drugs and your movements I think.

A bath? Well, thank the powers that be for spray deodorant. I suppose I could use a facecloth and some warm water. What could it hurt? Can you tell that my hygiene is way down on my list of requirements? Pain control is my first priority and getting the Tylox to stay down. I'll think about cleanliness in a few more days. Visiting by phone might be wise. Wearing a clothespin over your nose if you visit will just hurt my feelings.

I'm off here to take my Tylox; I ate a little square of Lasagna to go along with it. Peg called and wanted to know what I was taking for pain. I told her "Tylox and a hamburger patty". Whatever works huh?

I'll let you know how this diet is working out for me.


  1. Oh no, that doesn't sound like much fun.

    I was on anti-b's and pain killers for most of the 3 months around christmas and new years just past.
    I had to resort to eating simple carbs, which I don't usually indulge in too much. but yeah, what ever works.

    And hey, just spray some Febreeze around, I hear it works like a charm : )

  2. Buffalo: distance is a good thing

    Power Girl...I'll try some carbs. For some reason Doritos stay down and cheese too. The husband is cooking up a big pot of chicken vegetable soup and he is a good cook. I'll have enough for weeks; hopefully it will stay down.


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