You schedule a 3 week visit and feel that even though that is all the time you can allot for this visit you wish it could be more. You use all your time off from work for this visit. You spend your own money for the plane ticket. You know you can't afford it but you go anyway. Use your charge card. Take presents. Atheist and now you adopt his religion. At 37 years old you become Catholic? Give up being a vegetarian. He enjoys meat. Learn to hike and add yoga to your routine because these are the things he likes to do. Change yourself and mold yourself into somebody he might like. Don't take any chances. Profess to love sports. He does.
You spend this time with your love on the upper floor of his parents home since that is where he lives. This man is how old? Ah, 40 you say?
He doesn't rent a place for you and he to have privacy after waiting a year to spend this time together? Wouldn't you think he would have wanted to spend this time in a bedroom that wasn't directly above his parents rooms? You make a trip with him. You pay for the rooms while on this trip? What? What does he contribute? His body and his time? What? He can't afford to spend any money on you? He has to contribute to his parents support? Ah, I see.
You didn't meet one of his friends while there? Ah, you say. They live in other towns. I see. So you have 3 weeks and train passes. He didn't at least want to show you off to his closest buddy?
I don't recognize the person you have become. You're going to build a life with this person? This life is based on honesty and trust you say? Trust? He makes appointments to meet your parents while they are abroad. He cancels all three appointments and never meets them. Trust?
Oh, this is the same man that promised to be at your graduation?
He missed his trip to the USA for Valentine's day?
He missed Easter trip?
I've planned a European trip; and actually got on the plane and got there.
Your own mother has scheduled many trips and hasn't had to cancel one of them
You yourself have scheduled many trips and made all of them.
I'm just astounded that the love of your life has an excuse for every trip planned; for every meeting planned; for every phone call forgotten and on and on and on.
At the end of your visit he doesn't go to the airport to see his love board her flight home knowing he won't be seeing her for at least 3 months. Her flight is cancelled. She spends another night and he doesn't race back to the airport to spend that last night with her?
As you are parting he promises to visit for Valentine's day? You trust him to be here. He promised. What? He doesn't come? He has a job interview? What? You had him mail you a copy of the letter requesting he be at this job interview? Trust?
Even romance novels of which you have lived in for the past 30 plus years would never end this way. Your romance novel love spends every second he can with you before having to split up for the trip home.
What is wrong with this picture?
You keep hidden his special blog site? Oh. The one with all the full frontal nudity with erections? You don't want your family and friends to know? Trust? Ah, I see. So this truth and honesty only extends to the boundaries you erect?
On the subject of games that couples play; does deceit and deception count? Ah, so it doesn't pertain to you? Keeping up appearances you say? Having friends and family not know everything? I see. Truth, trust and honesty in a relationship.
I'm exhausted. Two sets of rules. It will take some memory skills to keep the two sets of rules straight. Your rules and everyone elses rules.
A lot of work. I don't know if I'm up to it. I'll have to sleep on it. I'll get back to you.