Monday Post OP 5 weeks

5 weeks! Post operation and smokeless still. The smokeless part is because I tell myself "no, you cannot have "just one". You are an addict". The worst part now on the staying smokeless is when I do something new that I haven't done since surgery when I quit. I wasn't allowed to drive so now when I do get into my car, I get that trigger to have a cigarette. I'm sure that after a few times driving and staying smokeless, that trigger will also disappear.

Today I am unable to do stretches with my foot on the pillow on the coffee table. I start and then get a horrific pain behind my knee. I was becoming anxious and worried about the cause of the pain. I was becoming frustrated about not being able to continue the stretches and I felt like I was losing ground. It took most of the day for me to figure out why I was hurting. Last night I added weights to the top part of my knee. I could feel the extra pull and the extra burn. I know that is why the muscles in the back of my knee are screaming at me today. I do feel better knowing the reason for the extra muscle tenderness. I'm still trying to do some stretches but am not able to do them for an length of time.

I still can't get full extension, something I'm trying not to obsess about too much right now. I must do some more stretches even with the pain increase or I will lose what I have gained in the past few days.

Carrie is back with us today and seems very excited to be back. She has been hanging all over her Poppy today and not letting him get to far away from her. She stumbled down the hallway after her nap, still sleepy eyed and usually she comes looking for me. She wants to be held for a while until she wakes up completely. Today she careened down the hall and started for the door to the patio. I called to her and asked where she was going. She replied "I'm finding my Poppy". I directed her to the living room where she found her Poppy on the sofa. Since then she has been laying with him and watching TV; she has been pulling his hair and planting kisses on his face.
I'm sittng here missing all that attention that was once mine post nap. What has happened? Poppy plays imaginery games and teases her and has long conversations with her and she loves him for it. He spends lots of quality time with her.


I am the one that bathes and dresses her ; the one that pulls the knots out of her hair and the one she runs to when she gets hurt or scared. I guess we all have our roles!