Tuesday, March 31, 2009

End of March

It's hard for me to believe that it has been 4 weeks since I had surgery and harder still to believe that it has been 4 weeks since I've had a cigarette. As to the cigarette, I still get that craving; it's not often, arrives swiftly and then disappears quickly. I don't find myself obsessing over them. I just ride out the craving when it appears and I find that hours and hours go by without it reappearing. I think I'm doing great but I'm still scared that one day I'll pick one up to take a puff and the habit/addiction will be full blown again. I try to stay aware of this fact. I'm an addict. I can not have even one puff. I have friends that can occasionally smoke. I thought the last time I quit, that I was one of "those'. I found out quickly that I am not. One puff and I was a full fledged smoker.

I'm still in pajamas but I must get dressed and drive to the surgeon's office to pick up a 'script for more pain medications. I am taking the pain meds but only one of the two I'm allowed every 3 to 4 hours. I don't take that one pill every 3 to 4 hours though. I stretch the time out. If I'm not hurting, I don't take it. I know that when I do exercising I have to take a pill to make it through and also for the pain afterwards.

Ice, Percoset, exercise, Ice.

I want to get to the doctor's office before Carrie gets here. I don't want to take her with me. Too much work getting her in the car, out of the car, and twisting my own self sideways to get in and out of the car. It's just faster if I do this alone.

I'm outta here to dress and go!

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