Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Dilaudid, You are my Friend

It's 1:50 A.M. here. I'm so excited for all you cigarette smokers out there. I've discovered the cure to the addiction to cigarettes. I smoke; yes I do. It's really none of your business whether you approve or not. If I were requiring you to pay for them, then you could freely voice your dislike and disapproval but until that time happens, please kindly don't offer unsolicited wrinkling of your nose, rolling your eyes or any of those other forms of disapproval that you were led to believe were your rights on the rudeness path. I remember when the indoctrination started on the quit smoking cigarettes campaign. It started slowly and quietly. You were bought along nicely by the discreetly heard style of hate. Soon you were even encouraged to voice your unsolicited opinion. Then we were "uncool". The health craze was running rampant, the "no child left behind" campaign was here and I don't remember the diet of the moment but I'm sure someone just discovered the only way to be thin and stay that way.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, cigarettes. I haven't tried often to quit, It was just too scary thinking about it. I usually broke out in a cold sweat when the subject came up. If I were around a crowd of people, I would quietly exit the room and have a smoke.The last time I tried to quit was after a respiratory event. Doesn't that sound so "right"? Basically I couldn't breath. I was wheezing, snorting and barking. Such attractive qualities one and three. Bronchitis. The doctor prescribed all kinds of meds and sent me home with a breathing machine. On Day 3 of being unable to breath I realized that I was on Day 3 of no cigarettes. Now we all know what that means? Well not much but a little.It has been said that it takes 3 days for all the nicotine to leave your system. WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The brain cell kicks in and I start to think that maybe the worst part is over. I can just maintain now. At this time I would like to say, the worst was NOT over.

Two weeks creep by with much of the time spent daydreaming about a footlong cigarette. Not every minute but a lot of em were spent fighting the urges. Eventually o8 months had passed and I seldom thought about one; I stress the word "seldom" and I was still not smoking. I remedied this later but suffice it to say, I made it o8 months.

The other time I tried was back in the ZigZag Days; the days of the little pipes and big bongs. Yep, I figured I could just light up one instead of a cigarette. That didn't work well at all. I would forget why I lit a doobie and light a cigarette anyway.

I'm still in the hospital. This is Day 3 of my internment. I have a pump of pain meds being delivered to a sheath running beside the nerve in my femor. This keeps me from screaming in pain which I like very much.
Another pump is in progress and on demand I can get Dilaudid. Every 12 minutes I can press that little button and get delivered some Dilaudid. This makes me itch and sometimes nauseated but hey, what's a little itching? I'm having a one person party here. Oh wait. I'm getting to the heart of my story here. If I'm not careful, I will lose my train of thought.

I really haven't felt much pain at all. I've been using the Dilaudid to fight the nicotine craving. I haven't felt any cravings but then I haven't let much time go by without punching that little button that delivers all that pleasure. That pump will be taken away today. I've got to use it for those 3 days I needed to get started. I'm going to try it again. I'll miss my friends. I'll miss sharing a smoke with all my smoker friends. Maybe we could meet over a chocolate bar?
It's never two late to start school and never too late to quit smoking.

If this is the drugs speaking I reserve all rights to delete this post and find my cigarettes and lighter.

1 comment:

  1. Good luck with the no smoking - if that's what you want. A couple of years ago I went almost 3 weeks without a smoke. I was still climbing the walls.

    (Don't you just love encouraging words?)


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