Tuesday, February 5, 2013

What Big Teeth You Have Grandma

I have an overbite. That might not really convey the seriousness of the situation. Through the years I've received many compliments on my teeth. If they only knew.
Through the years also I have spent a small fortune on these teeth. It appears that I have inherited the genetics from my mother's side of the family tree. Soft enamel and gum disease are my nemesis.
These teeth are lined up nice and even and of a good shape so gazing at my smile, everything looks perfect but just peel back these lips and peek into a fully opened mouth and the picture takes on a different note. Bridges, implants and root canals have ate into my life's savings. I might have to pawn these choppers in order to retire.
My dentist drives a Mercedes which I'm pretty sure I've been making payments on for years now. I try not to notice his wife when she is out shopping. I pass her on my way to Ross's while she is on her way to Macy's. See the big difference in where we shop?
She doesn't even drive her husbands car. His Mercedes is a dark blue while hers is a  white diamond color.................
....and this is why I envy people with dentures.
I have friends that have chosen to voluntarily have their teeth removed much to the chagrin of their dentists. After years of pouring money into their mouths, the pain is something they are tired of dealing with. Some have told me it was worth it while others lament the loss of what was once natural which makes me hesitate.

I see a dental visit in my near future which is what is inspiring this rant today. Going to the dentist is much like the thought of a prison camp and fingernails being removed. I did say "the thought". My dentist makes sure I'm numbed sufficiently and has never caused me pain but my imagination cannot be subdued as easily.

It's time to brush, floss and rinse. It's time to cease whining. 


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