Thursday, September 23, 2010

Silly Me and My Acquaintances

What was I thinking? I'm not sure if I was. I've recently been confronted with friends and acquaintances that were part of my life when I was many years younger then what I am today. This has caused me to question
the depths of these relationships and the quality.

What did we talk about? I've been on a quest; a search and finally I think I have an answer.

Years ago, when the daughter was herself, quite young, I would ask about her friends and in conversation, I would say "What's her dad do?" "Does her mother work?"  Innocent enough questions and to these she would respond "I don't know. We don't talk about stuff like that." Wondering just what they talked about, I asked and she couldn't tell me. More years pass and the granddaughter grows up and she is socializing with her friends and the same questions asked of the daughter years ago were again posed to the granddaughter. I received the same answers from her and now I'm wondering just how well I knew anyone when I was her age, which inspired my journey to find out if I knew so little about the people around me.
Sadly, it's true. I was appalled to think of the shallowness of these relationships. It was all about "where are we going this weekend", or " a party where?" or "call me and we'll get together". When my investigation began, I was sure it was just me. Me who was shallow and self absorbed. Maybe, if I had stayed around and not moved away, I would have developed a deeper relationship with these acquaintances as I grew up and older. I left them behind and that opportunity never developed. 

I've found that I, at the age in question, had no interest in questioning my acquaintainces/friends or discussing with them and they had no interest either, in in-depth discussions on family lineage or anything of substance. It was all about having a good time. 

My investigation is complete. It no longer bothers me that I remember so little about these old friends/acquaintances. There isn't a lot to be remembered except for places we went and the things we did when we got there.  I feel better. I still don't know much in depth about them and that's ok. There are a few that were closest of friends and those I do have a 'history' of and with.

My relationships now are much more detailed; more history and more discussions but much less partying. Maybe that is the key. Less parties, more discussions of the meaningful kind?

We are fortunate  to have 5 people we can count as "good friends" to know  and all others are acquaintances and apparently that was evident before I moved away; a few good friends and a lot of acquaintances. I didn't need to know all about the acquaintances.   


  1. I had something clever to say. Then I remembered mom saying something about not being hung for thinking, just what comes out of one's mouth (or fingers).

  2. Buffalo: go aheaad..say it..I dare ya!

  3. Buffalo: you weren't referring to senility now...were you???


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