Monday, June 29, 2009

Life Lessons/Habits

Have you ever made a mistake? I know I have and I also don't know of anyone that hasn't. The great thing about mistakes are you can rename them. If it was a learning experience, one that you never repeat, then they can be called life lessons. I have a lot of these. Everybody has them. Those mistakes we make through ignorance or not paying enough attention to what we are doing. Those are life lessons. Those "oops, I'll never do that again". They can be serious foul ups or minor but if you learned something from them and do not repeat, then I call these life lessons.

Then there are those mistakes that some people continue to repeat over and over again and end up with the same results. Those are not mistakes, those are habits. This is your way of life. Things aren't going to get any better by repeating the same actions over and over. Calling them mistakes no longer are applicable.

Staying in an abusive relationship, continuing to believe in something that has proven time and again to not happen, spending beyond your means, and any number of mistakes that people endure for years and years are not mistakes but a way of life.

I am constantly confounded by friends and relatives that live in this mode. I watch and know that soon I will be receiving a phone call to inform me that "he did/she did or we did" and are now paying the price. You are expected to listen and commiserate with their plight. Forbidden are any comments that can be construed as critical of their actions and even gentle advice is unwelcome. It's never their fault; they don't see the outcome as any fault from their decision making. You smile and nod and know these people have never had a life lesson.

As the years speed by, their decisions and their outcomes eventually catch up to them. Lost homes, bankruptcy and limited earning power because of loss of health or age and suddenly they are trying to play "catch up".

I continue to listen and know that all I have to do is smile and nod.

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