I totally 'get' that you can't pick your family. I don't understand though, the family unit. Thinking my family was a bit weird only to discover that is not limited to my family only.
A family member that insists on drama, lying and stirring the pot among other family members, I've never understood. I've been told tales about one family member and those tales have been kept secret, whether they were meant to be kept or not. I've had one family member say unkind words about another, and those words stopped right here. I've never been a believer in stirring any pot less it be one on the stove.
Maybe the loner I've always been has insulated me from learning about other people's families. The more I hear the more I'm convinced that "family" ain't all it's cracked up to be. I was of the belief that family stuck together. Pulled together. Was someone you could lean on in the hard times and that would help you when you needed help and you would offer that same help when they were in need of it.
How could I have been so wrong and how long has it been that this is untrue. Were are grandparents engulfed in the same brews amongst their family members?
I do believe that some families handle the strife and conflict better then others. It's just not spoken about to other family members. I don't remember my grandparents mentioning any thing about their sons and daughters life's. If they disapproved of someone, it was kept to themselves only to be discussed in private.
Privacy seems a thing of the past on family dealings. I always liken this public stirring of the cauldron to The Jerry Springer show. Knowing that those contestants or guests or whatever you want to call them that appeared on that show were coached to be outlandish helps me not. Watching those shows puzzles me also. Why would anyone want to sit in front of their televisions to watch people yell and scream insults at each other? Is that entertainment or is that a show that makes an audience feel that their lives are at least not THAT bad.
What happens in a family that causes one sibling to turn on another? How could they be raised under one roof and share life experiences as children and become so uncaring as adults? I'm puzzled. I've seen family members not attend a family function because another member will be there or was at least invited. Sometimes neither of them shows believing that the other one might be there.
How does one justify being mean to another? My avenue I keep open is to ignore. I don't defend myself against accusations. I don't retaliate with ugly untruths or comments. I sneak silently away and ignore. If I am to be condemned without an inquiry as to my side of the story, I immediately know that this persons' opinion of me doesn't matter. Move over so I can move on.