Rewrites ( a post left unpublished until today)

(I was clearing out some drafts that have never been published and thought today might be an appropriate time to trash this or publish it...here goes! written on 4/15/2011)


"I've hired someone to rewrite. Someone that will visit and sign in and organize and rewrite my words and clean up the sentence and structure, thoughts and paragraphs. Maybe "hired" isn't the correct term to use. It's being done for free." she grins as she relates this to me.

Listening intently, I reply "Hey, if it's for free and it makes you feel better to have someone rearrange it, then go for it." I've noticed that the person rewriting has interjected her own views and that's when it becomes a lie and when I no longer tune in to that blog. Rearranging and proofing it is not the same as letting another hijack it.

"It's just that I must have slept through English class" she says. I'm embarrassed after reading other blogs and how I can't word mine in an order that doesn't embarrass me. I've told her to clean it up and to verbalize it to make it coherent and sensible and that's what she does. I write it and she comes in later and signs in to rewrite it. It's a bit of a cheat but hey, who's to know?" she looks away as she says this and I always speculate that when one loses eye contact with who they are talking too I might have a difficult time believing what they say but I nod and smile and wonder at how insecure this person must be. Sometimes you just have to let it slide. It's not important in the grand scheme of life that one person justifies what they do. When it becomes too much for me to deal with, I'll quietly fade out of the picture and move away and wonder if this one lie is the only falsehood they tell.

Being lied to has always been something intolerable to me. You will have to tell them to someone else as I would prefer to not be in your life if you feel you have to lie to me. Maybe everyone does it. Maybe I do it too? I try really hard to not be that sort of person.  I don't want to spend my time with the anxiety it must produce to always have to worry about covering up. I'll take my dose of medicine for whatever I've done and move on. Lying is just not in my nature and on that note, I can't tolerate it in others.

I've seen people create elaborate hoaxes in an effort to sustain a lie they have told. I wonder at how much time and concentration it must take. When  those "stories" don't gel with what is currently being reported by them, I have to wonder why they didn't jot down the "stories" so they could refer back and at least make them interface seamlessly. That might seem like a lot of effort but then being exposed as a fool and a liar should justify the extra work.

The "story" teller assumes the audience doesn't remember what they were told previously and that is where that person makes the biggest error in judgement. As in the rewrites, the writers assume the reader doesn't notice the changes.

I know when it's time for me to bow out of a relationship with that person. When the lying causes me to squirm and not be able to make appropriate retorts, it's time for me to move along. I'm embarrassed for the liar. I'm uncomfortable and I'm gone!

And on that note..I am gone. It's time for a shower and it's time for me to get out of this house for a while.

I'm bringing the Landcrusier home today. I'll decide what to do with it afterwards.