Waiting

I wish I felt like this BUT I don't.

I've waited all week planning for this weekend.

I was guardian of The Carrie girl all week. We played imaginary games; we took walks, watched TV, napped and read books. I cooked for her, took her for many "potty trips" and fetched drinks for her. We took nice long warm baths in the late afternoon. We did tub play and shampooed hair that hung below her butt. We brushed that hair and removed all tangles and got her ready to greet her Mama who arrives here at 6PM at which time I collapse in front of the TV, switch from "Dora The Explorer" to watch some CNN or MSNBC. I'm tired and brain numb by this time so that promise I made to myself early in the morning, the promise to myself that I would "paint that ceiling after Carrie goes home this evening" or that other often promise to myself that I would "move and clean behind that" is now just a faint memory and one that will not be fulfilled.

Carrie left Friday afternoon. She was bathed and smelling like a "Johnson Baby" (compliments of Johnson bath products). I do love that fragrance in the Johnson Baby Lotion! I was looking forward to all the things I was going to get accomplished this weekend. Saturday morning I swung my feet to the side of the bed and popped to a sitting position..ALMOST. Electrical shocks were dancing up and down my spine. OH NO...this can't be happening. My back is "out". That means I can barely walk at this time. I use an office chair to make it around the house. Usually I push it along in front of me as support and insurance that can be used in the event that my legs quit functioning properly.

I spent most of the day eating Tylenol and in a supine position in front of the TV. Dozing, waking, watching, more Tylenol and repeat.

There is nothing I can do but wait for the inflammation and the swelling to subside. Wait for the pain to subside. Wait for the healing.

I'm here...Waiting