Heart Whole

Surrounded by bubbles, water tepid, Carrie enjoys her bath. One could write a book on the things children say (I'm sure they have). She is mad at Barbie. She goes to her phone and calls Barbie. She stands with one hand on her hip, a scowl on her face; anger radiates from her.

I hear her say "hello Barbie? Why did you go get ice cream and pizza without me?". She waits a pause or two then says "I'm NOT talking to you any more and you can't come over here!"

She slams down the phone, turns to me and says "Barbie is NOT my fwiend" (I know how to spell "friend"...but she says "fwiend").

She also says "jello" for yellow and "moot" when she wants you to MOVE. Soon all these delightful child things will be no more. Her pronunciation will be correct in all things. Her openness to all and everyone will diminish.

Children are so uninhibited and I think that must be what is part of their charm. She has no qualms about telling you loudly and where ever the mood strikes her that "I love you Nonnie". Spur of the moment hugs, dancing, showing somebody her slide moves in her new shoes, twirling to show a new outfit; charming.

New words she ponders and you can almost see the gears in her brain cataloging as she tilts her head to one side watching the mouth and tongue as you repeat the word for her.

Imaginary friends, Larry the Lizard (gecko lizards she sees on my porch) stories are told and retold. You can't deviate from the story because she knows it well. She wants to hear the "thumpa, thumpa, thumpa" part of the story as the Lizard is creeping up on her through the forest. Her eyes widen, she looks over her shoulder...a very dramatic child. She will correct you if you leave out any part of the story. Many hours are spent in imaginary play.

She trusts. She trusts everyone. How wonderful a world we would live in if we never lost that childish trust of everyone. To be able to say exactly what you feel and not worry about negative responses. To be able to give and give and get back and get back. To smile at everyone you meet and not worry that they may think you are mentally impaired, drugged up or spaced out.

I watch her when we get in a crowd. She assumes everyone is her friend and acts accordingly. No guile, no hidden agendas, no worries about being politically correct in this age of policing every thing we say so as not to offend anyone.

She is never taught that anybody is different. She is allowed to accept everyone. Some day we shall have to teach her to not trust so whole heartdly and that will be a sad day for me.