Saturday, May 3, 2014

Warning, Wild Child About

The head of tousled blonde curls and the angelic face hid the behavior that was to be witnessed.

We watched as the door to the house was commandeered as a toy. The storm door had it's turn at being abused before the "typical two year old" turned his attention to the wooden door that was sheltered by that storm door. Over and over the doors were opened and shut, banging loudly while the parent sat and watched. We watched as this child became angry and slashed his hands across the table holding his toys, sending them careening about the room and bouncing off one of the house guests. Occasionally his mother would smile as he performed one of these behaviors and remark "He's just a typical two year old."  I doubt that she believed this even as she was making this excuse.

I had reports of what to expect. Apparently one of my siblings had visited while the mother was out and about and left this child to be babysit by her mother. The sibling that appeared for that visit observed for a while before she got up and smacked the little hands that were busy destroying the kitchen. She asked him to stop a few times to no avail. Soon the hands were being smacked, much to his dismay I'm sure. His grandmother issued the same warning by smacking his hands; something that would not have been allowed had that child's parent been there.
Time outs are the punishments this little one gets. Not a few but many many time outs.

A few swats might make him grow up to be an aggressive adult? 

 We watched as he attacked with his fists and fingernails, his parent and grandparent. As his grandmother pulled him away from the door and picked him up, he was facing way from her. He reached back with his hands and raked his nails down her face and throat. As she delivered him back to his parent, she could be seen running her hands down her face and throat checking for blood. The mother inquired of her mother "Does he need a time out for that?"
Soon he was back in the house and on the sofa by his parent. He became angry and started pummeling her with his fists followed by raking her face with his nails.
"Oh no *******. You will have to have a time out for that".

 I would suggest that his aggressiveness isn't going to wait until he is an adult. More time outs. Six and a half hours later and many time outs meted out to this 'typical two year old' and I knew it was time to take a break. I was warned. Warned by others that had witnessed the behavior of this child and his parent.

This child needs some boundaries. He has no clue as to where he should stop. The parent shirks that responsibility of setting those boundaries and the child races from one object to another never finding a boundary or an "edge". There is no stopping place for him.

It will be interesting to monitor, from afar, this child's growth and development.
I was warned.

Soon someone reading this blog notified the parent. She didn't bother reading this post, but only relied on what she had been fed by the person who recognized this post as "the child". The parent went ballistic. She didn't believe that people were talking about her child's behavior. I received many messages from her pouring poison on "how I could attack her child". My question then remains, since no names were mentioned, how anyone knew this blog was about her child? Was it the specific descriptions of his behavior that had been witnessed by people on prior visits?

Email after email was fired at me. Hurling insults after insults and even attacking Carrie's physical appearance, her time spent on the computer, and stories heard about me from the family. This is a family I have lived 2000 miles from for the past 43 years with infrequent contacts and fewer trips back to the town I was raised in. She assured me she had witnesses to all her rants. As usually my responses to bullshit, I didn't retaliate with any meaness though I was accused of being mean by posting the behavior of that unsupervised child. She even said she checked with "those that were supposedly talking about her child" and they said I was a liar. I've since talked to these same people and they haven't heard from her.
The point is, please get some control of that child now. This will only get worse and harder to reverse as time goes on.
When you take your two year old child to visit someone and they post "he is very inquisitive, that translates to "he is into everything". When that same statement is made about a 8 yr. old, it usually means they are "questioning" everything. Read between the lines people. If your child is destroying everything while on a visit to other people's home, your child is out of control and the blame lies with YOU.

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