"Tick toc, tick toc". Time is slipping away. It's slipping right up to a surgery date I have scheduled. Some days are better then others. I have to reinforce my stamina by reading and observing online the other women that have traveled this path. It helps to read about their surgeries and how they coped.
I can't imagine having to make this choice prophylactically. How does one elect to have a double mastectomy? I have no choice in this matter as I have breast cancer and there is no other option for me. It might help if I were in pain or had some symptoms that spurred me on to this surgery.
My knee replacement, almost 5 yrs. ago was because the beginning of arthritis and the thought of not being able to walk were incentives enough for me to plan that surgery. I really had no idea of the difficulty of recovery on this and that might have been a good thing.
You Tube is where I am going today to get some reinforcement. Sometimes I wish this were already behind me and sometimes I become depressed as the time becomes closer.
I have met women locally here too that have been a great help by sharing their experiences. My pre op feelings and fears were theirs too. Somehow knowing this too helps.
I've started small steps in preparation. Silk pajamas that have a button up shirt, clothes hung at chest level (arms will not be lifted above chest level). All the shirts will have button fronts (no pullovers; again the arms above chest issue) and pull on elastic waist capris and pants (easy to dress). Starting these preparations make it more and more real.
Recovery time is different for everyone. Hopefully there will be no complications (infection) and I'll be in the 'two week' window of having the drain tubes removed. An acquaintance here was back to work in one month. Though I'm not employed, it would be wonderful if I could get back to house work and driving in the same time frame.
I don't plan on doing any holiday cooking. I'll let the daughter handle that this year.
Right now, it's time for some breakfast and more coffee! I keep telling myself "a year from now, this will be over. I'll be healed and this will just be another memory."