A little note to the wise or in some cases, a little note to help you in 'becoming' wise.
Don't tell a chemo patient "It's only hair. It will grow back."
I know we should be focusing on living and hair shouldn't be that big a deal considering what we are facing BUT it's OUR hair and it IS important. We can't sit and think about dying all the time though it is a big part of our living right now, but having to do it PLUS having to deal with NO hair makes me want to snap someone's head off when they say "It's only hair...."
And about that mastectomy and getting new perky boobies. Let's go there for a minute shall we?
I didn't choose to get rid of the ones I had to get "perky ones'. Getting perky ones this way is very painful. It's not about just getting implants. It's about getting stretchers placed BEHIND the muscles in your chest and having that muscle stretched in increments week after week until it leaves a pocket big enough to place a saline and gel implant which will have to be changed out every 10 years. The nerves that have been severed and are trying to regenerate are painful. The burning sensation sets your teeth on edge. This is being said from someone that has done better then most of the mastectomy patients. I haven't gone the tissue expander route so though I've bypassed that painful part of this procedure, the pain and discomfort from the surgery is enough. I wasn't a candidate for this type of reconstruction because of the radiation I will have to have. The reconstruction option for me will be to have abdomen skin grafted to my chest. This is a 12 hr. surgery with too many risks for me to even entertain having this done. Infection is one of the big risks and happens to many. Usually these patients have 3 surgeries to get the end result. I'm not up for that.
My hair is growing back. I have a soft 1/4" of hair. I have been off chemo since the last of October and I hope my oncologist will not prescribe more of the same chemo that took my hair. I know I will be taking more of the chemo that targets the colon cancer but that had it's own side effects but losing hair wasn't one of them.
Clinical update: The burning sensations have lessened. The chest tightness is also relaxing. The incision sites which can almost be described now as scars, are healing. No drainage noted. No redness or odor. Edges well approximated.
Numbness remains to the breast line.
I wear a soft camisole beneath my clothes. I am comfortable with pulling shirts on over my head now.
On a lighter note and after this post, I need to lighten up a bit...the temperatures are into the seventies and it's a beautiful day! I dropped Carrie off at school and didn't come home. I did some shopping. I still have a few more gifts to purchase and some groceries for the Christmas meal but I have time. Carrie visited a few days ago and I found her beneath the tree shaking packages. She recognized the new packages that she hadn't wrapped and correctly surmised they were for her. She mentioned something about opening one of her gifts early. I quickly put a stop to that. "Carrie," I said, "that one gift you open early is usually on Christmas eve..not two weeks BEFORE Christmas!"
Carrie makes Christmas what it is supposed to be. The excitement she feels has long passed most adults when it comes to Christmas. Even Ted and Lessie are approaching that age where the magic is gone, replaced by the stress of jobs and shopping.
Ah, you are only a child once and it passes much to quickly. If only they realized that when they were children.
I will publish this. It won't be posted to Facebook.
I'm done here.