The Why

I remember dating. Not with the fondest of memories for a lot of that time. That time when your date arrived; you worried about small talk, gaps in conversation, sauce on your chin at dinner or spinach in your teeth. Ah yes, dating.

Dating leads to? I had my perimeters. A list, as such, that the men in my life had to adhere to.

1. I don't date men I meet in a bar. I don't want to continue looking for them there should this relationship develop into something permanent, and one never knows when "permanent" or "long term" will happen.

2. You must be employed with a track record of continuous employment. I'm raising one child; I don't need another.

3. You cannot have a record. Not the vinyl kind. The police blotter one. I will not hitch my wagon to someone with a felony or even worse, multiple felonies.

Number three still haunts me as I look around at the young women that, without hesitation, profess for the world to see their new love. He has a police record, a prison record and a history of unreliability that is no secret anyone and especially to this female.

What are they thinking? Finding employment, a place to live and a future with a felon? This was never going to be my preference. I would prefer to take my chances alone.

When the relationship sours; the felon reverts back to his usual behavior, the newness gone, the abuse starts. You get what you get. Nobody changes for someone else. Not even their children. Time and again, I've watched these people couple up and flame out, each one blaming the other for their unhappiness.
Your choice, your time, your life. Become an observer. It's a learning ..a life lesson. It's banking all that wasted time on something that is not going to change for YOU.