Thursday, August 7, 2014

Am I Really That Busy?

I'm so far behind on updates on this, that I don't know where to begin!
Firstly (is that really a word?) I had my last chemo treatment on Monday...three days ago. Now for the PET scan scheduled for 8/19/2014. This scan will show hot spots which indicate if the cancer has spread. I, along with everyone else having this done, get anxious about the results. I have a rather negative attitude on this anyway. It could show clear which really doesn't relieve my anxiety. I'm an RN that has worked too many years in hospitals and on Oncology units to really trust that this test, if shows no spread, is something I can rely on for long. I have no symptoms of this cancer affecting any of my vital organs right kidney, liver or lungs, but once diagnosed with the BIG C, one never really  trusts that it is ever really gone.
Oh, wow..this is becoming way too depressing isn't it?
It's just a statement on how I'm feeling. My post, my right.

Now..I'm done with that!
The weather here is wonky. Rain, rain and more rain but only for a few minutes every day then the clouds fade, the sun bursts out, the temperatures rise, the top gets dropped on the roadster and I'm outta here.

The husband has been home a lot lately. So have I. He left for Colorado on Monday and I just left. Left the house to run the roads, dink around, hang out in a few stores and only because I haven't been a "free bird" for a while. It's not that I can't leave when the husband is home but that I really don't care to just leave him here while I go "kill some time" hanging out in stores and checking out all the new stuff. I can do that guilt free when he is gone on a job and for the first few days he is gone, I'm burning up some tanks of gas! Today, day four, I stayed home and cleaned house and did a crawfish fettucine for Ted and Carrie. I was back in domestic mode.

Another thing I do is go to a matinee..alone! I'm so used to the 'loner thing' that I have no qualms about doing things by myself. I've never minded going to dinner alone, to a bar or to a movie alone or on a long trip alone. I like being with myself; a selfish thing maybe. I don't have to explain to anyone or arrange my free time to yours or discuss and choose what to do, where to go or what to eat. It's a feeling of pure freedom for me. I'm a gypsy at heart.

Am I rambling? Yes, maybe. My blog. My Post. My Right.

I'm off to bed with my little friend, Ambien.

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