Tuesday, Day 5 Post Op

Clinically: The drains are collecting less and less fluid. I'm now wearing a wonderfully flowing Maui Maui (clueless on correct spelling of that) but it works wonderfully to not hooking those tubes from the wound site on the bed posts as I careen around the bedroom and on other pieces of furniture as I wander around the house. I've been told that "walking" was not what I do. I speed and I have only one speed which is HIGH.

I'm getting antsy around here. I'm ready to get the drains out and get out and about. The pain level remains low, some stinging and burning is answered with a Tylenol ES. I drained the JP's last night, relieving my daughter of the task and assured her I would be alright taking care of them this morning.

Yesterday, without stress, I washed dishes, did laundry after stripping the king size bed and replacing the sheets, swept the kitchen floor, shook out the rugs and placed them in the washer. I really haven't lost any strength in my hands. I can grip a lid on jars and open them. I can get in and out of bed with ease. I'm sleeping through the night on my back. Occasionally I will wake because I have rolled onto my left side and become uncomfortable. I reposition myself and go back to sleep. I am taking my Ambien at bedtime.

 I'm doing small tasks spaced apart in time.

Last night as the husband was watching Monday night football, I slipped into the living room and turned on the TV. Piers Morgan was on and interviewing women with breast cancer. Some of these women had already had their bilateral mastectomy. It really struck home as I am just days out from that same surgery and all the emotions that went along with having it done. It's a surgery that impacts a a persons psyche like no other. Some of these women just wanted the cancer cut out immediately while others feared and mourned this loss. I watched the video of the doctor in the OR dancing with her surgery team prior to her bilateral mastectomy. I never arrived at the "joy" prior this surgery. We all handle it differently.

I have yet to see the incision site. I'm not ready. Carrie has already questioned me about when she can see it. I told her we would look at it together soon. I want to be able to have her view it as any other scar, be it on a leg or on a arm. I don't want her to be cultured to believe that breasts are the most important accoutrement on the female body. We stress that her brain is the most valuable part she has.

  I'll have some pretty camisoles to wear by the time all the tubes and dressings are removed. We will view it unemotionally is my hope.

I left a message with the Cancer Center for my oncologist to let them know the surgery was finished. I'm sure I will have weeks dedicated to recovery before the remaining chemo and radiation is started.

It's not over with this surgery. I might be 1/2 way there though!