July 2, 2013

Tick, tock, tick, tock. The summer is spending itself in a blistering rage. I have my eye on October. I sigh in relief when August is once again out of sight for another year.

I tend to whine a lot when I get hot.

The husband decided to replace the soffits and fascia board that surround  this house and I'm the designated "gopher" on his project.
 "Hey, can you come help me hold this up?" he queries.

Occasionally a text arrives on my phone from him, "Where are you?"  "I need you."

It's hot and he is working directly in the sun. I question him "Why didn't you start this in May?"
"Let's hire someone."
"We'll finish this one side and shut down until the fall."

To all of this he says "Hey, I'm the one doing most of the work. What are you complaining about?"

I suppose it's better then him just sitting around here with nothing to do. It's certainly cheaper then finding a carpenter to do it. I should be grateful he doesn't mind doing this. I should have had a son. He could be here helping "dad" and I could be lounging under the a/c. "shoulda, coulda, woulda" and hindsight is 20/20.

It's now 0530 and I'm on my way to water the flowers before the sun rises. I encourage the husband to get up early and do his carpentry work before the sun attacks.

He gets up around 0900, grabs a cup of coffee and his cigarettes and cell phone and heads to the patio for a leisurely hour of vices and TV news. The sun is edging upward bringing heat and humidity. I have finished all my outdoor chores by then. The weed trimming has been done, flowers watered and patio floors cleaned. I'm ready to retire for the day.

Speaking of cigarettes, the daughter just made the two week mark smoke free. She has never made it this far in a quit. I know it's still not a safe zone for her yet but I offer gentle encouragement each time we talk. I also offer a little bit of Klonopin. She is past the need for it now and seldom has to take it to keep level. The want is still there but the cravings have ceased. The habit remains where she grabs her lighter before leaving the house only to realize after picking it up, there is nothing to do with it.

I so want this to work for her. She is busy cleaning all signs of nicotine out of her house. She can finally smell the odor that I used to complain so loudly about. If you must smoke, do it outside. Of course I didn't when I smoked but I washed down everything in my house monthly. I have become so lazy since I quit. The curtains, rugs and walls do not have to be washed monthly and I can't help but think about all the work I used to do to be a "clean smoker". Of course the house still had a "smokers' odor but it was a mild one due to all the cleaning I did each month.

I'm so done with all that. I don't crave a smoke nor do I think about it. It took about a year before I was to the point where the thought would cross my mind and then evaporate quickly and now at 4 years, I don't think about them at all. It can be done. If I can do it, there is hope for everyone.

I cringe now to see a young person light up. It's gonna be tough when they decide to put them down someday. That addiction is a tough one to kick.

I'm off to water those flowers.