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Thursday, June 20, 2013

It's Hot and so Am I

How did people ever survive without air conditioning? I sprint from the air conditioned house to the air condtioned car to the air conditioned store. I still manage to sweat.

We thought we might make it to Galveston today to do the water park. I made room reservations and within 4hrs tried to cancel them. My afternoon yesterday was spent napping. My stomach feels queasy and I was tired. I suppose it's the effects of the chemo. I'm afraid I won't be doing the water park this year with the family.

Add that to the fact that April gave up cigarettes at midnight night before last and last night at midnight she was still smoke free. 24hrs down. She had a little meltdown yesterday afternoon. We went to the tobacco store and bought her a "E-cigarette". It delivers a vapor only..no nicotine. I don't want her to get the nicotine. It keeps the addiction going. I offer her much encouragement. She has made it to the two week 'quit" then she tells herself "one little puff won't hurt"..and there goes the "quit".

It devastates me to see a young person light up. With all the education out there now, it's hard to comprehend their decision to smoke. When we started smoking, there was no information on the impacts on health nor the addiction of them. You could walk into your doctors office and sit and have a cigarette with him.

(continued a day later...6/20/2013)
Poor April. She is having melt downs. Of course I was in the midst of one and she rushed up here to console me and shortly after the hugs I received, she had a melt down of her own. Big tears rolled down her face; the addiction to nicotine was shaking her viciously. It is vicious, breaking the hold it has on you.

She is hitting all the trigger points. Those times when you reached for a cigarette. The first three days are rough. The nicotine is leaving your body while the brain is screaming for nicotine to release the dopamine into your system. The dopamine is the calming feeling one gets when they take a puff off that cigarette. I explained to her what her brain was doing and how I used to have conversations with my brain when I was quitting. I threatened. "you are NOT going to win this time. I know what you are doing and what you want!"
I tried not to have this conversations in a public place. Sometimes they could get quite loud and ugly. I did my share of crying and having the jitters so I know what she is going through.
I am amazed that there isn't clinics for smokers as there are for alcoholics and drug addicts. Research shows it's the hardest of all addictions to kick. Since cigarettes were my only addiction, I can't testify to that as a truth but I will never forget the trip down the "quit path". I don't ever want to have to travel that road again. I'm hoping she makes it this time.
I administered .50mg of Klonapin yesterday. Yes I'm a drug dealer now. She halved it and took it and said it helped. I advised she take another 1/2 this morning. She may need some help to get through the next two weeks.

On another note, the granddaughter (the older one..Lessie) is leaving for Florida on Saturday. She asked if  I would like to help her catch up on her laundry. Yesterday afternoon (late!) she delivered to me about 8 loads of clothes. I started on them last night and got a few loads done and on the line. I hang the heaviest stuff and she had a lot of jeans and sweat pants. Why sweat pants in June? Me thinks the young lady neglects to do her laundry. Her roommate was doing laundry at their apartment while I was gazing at the 8 loads I had to do here. Amazing. I'm so OCD that I wash every day or at least every two days.

I had to rush out to the line and take down the clothes; the rains are coming in. The first clue was the thunder rumbling above. I barely had time to get outside and get them to the patio. I have sweat pants draped across all the patio furniture and it will stay there until it dries. I doubt Lessie needs them for her vacation.

I spent the night with the daughter. Carrie wasn't allowed to spend the night with me so I took her up on her offer of a sleepover. We slept on the futon in the living room. She said "Nana, are you going to be here for breakfast in the morning?"
I told her I would but I might have to go to my house for a little bit but that I would be back for breakfast.

I've been here since 0500 hrs doing laundry. I can see the light at the end of the laundry tunnel and..OH! can you hear? The buzzer just went off on the dryer which is my signal to leap up and dash to the dryer so I can empty and load it again.

I'm gone for a little while. It's breakfast time at Carrie's house!


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