Thursday Evening

The years move along and soon you have more years behind you then in front. Both parents are gone now and the sadness this brings leaves a hollow part in your heart. This you must learn to live with.

Some one calls and delivers a message that "so and so" has passed away. Soon you realize that you have reached an age where you are watching those around your age develop illness and become debilitated. The people you have worked with for years are now retiring.

A wake up call is issued and it's for you. Time has passed that can never be recalled. A different stage of life you have eased into with barely a nod of recognition. All the clues were there but it still comes as a shock.

I have an appointment with the oncologist on Monday. I"m assuming the chemo will be started at this time. I have mixed feelings but as the husband says "this is the cards you have been dealt. You must play them."

I'll do my usual thing of dealing with this. I project myself forward to a year from now and know that this will put me in a place where all these processes will be complete. This, for some reason, pacifies me and gets me "by".

The mediport placed today has left me with much tenderness. A Lortab every 4 hours causes me to sleep through the discomfort.

The husband is still home and with me. He is not in a hurry to go back to work. There has been some changes in his work enviroment. He has been offered a position that would require us moving to Houston.

I have no desire to move to Houston. My daughter and grandchildren are here and I don't want to be far from them.

The husband suggested renting an apartment in Houston and keeping the house here in Lafayette. I'm avoiding the situation right now.

One of the brothers called this afternoon to check on me and how I felt after my procedure. I assured him I was fine but under the effects of the surgery meds. He will call back tomorrow. He has some official business to attend to and said he would call to let me know the outcome. Wishing him luck, I swallowed more pain meds and went to sleep.

It's time for a Lortab again and my nap. I'm done here for now.