The husband made a trip to Houston last week to meet with the new owner of the company that keeps him employed.
Norm has just recently bought the company. Again. He started this company over 5 yrs. ago and after owning it for 3 yrs. and building up a clientelle, he sold it for 10 million dollars and took a break from the work force. Part of the contract he signed when selling the company forbid him to start up a new one offering the same services. He waited. His contract expired and he bought the company back again and is now getting ready to kick it off again. The husband was employee 01 when Norm started it the first time. The husband was the first employee in the United States for this Canadian based company. He was heavily recruited for his knowledge in the field and his client contacts here in the USA.
Along with this change in leadership, the husband was offered a healthy increase in pay and expenses. They want to make sure he sticks around.
Through the years, though contact with Norm has been through the coordinators, messages have been delivered showing appreciation for his commitment to this company.
Norm is aware of my condition. He encouraged the husband to take all the time he needed to attend to my needs. He has offered an administrtive position to the husband to make his hours more regular during this time. You see, Norm and his wife have recently walked the same path we are on right now.
During his meeting with the husband, he shared his story. His wife was diagnosed with lung cancer. Surgery and chemo followed. Part way through the treatment, she wanted to throw in the towel. The side effects were too much for her. Norm said to her "Plan B is not an option." There was only one thing to do and she did it. She finished her chemo just in time to support him when his diagnosis of prostate cancer was received. Again surgery and chemo.
Plan B is not an option. When it's time for my next chemo run, I'll do this chant. "Plan B is not an option."
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Goodbye Xeloda
I did my Tuesday. "My Tuesday" otherwise known as chemo day, is now in the past and the side effects are current. I seldom communicate with anyone on the days following my infusion. I usually want to crawl into bed and ignore the world.
The 5FU was started this time. They did a bolus via a small bag that was infused over 15 minutes then hooked up the CADD pump, nestled it into a fanny pack like thing and secured it around my waist with a belt. I pulled my shirt over it and then ignored it for the 44 hrs. it had to be in place.
I much prefer this method then taking the pills for two weeks. The pump was placed on Tuesday afternoon and disconnected on Thursday morning at 01000hrs.
The sensitivity to cold things is much decreased. The reason being, with the infusion 5FU, the dosage had to be decreased on the Oxiliplatin. My hands still tingle and my throat still has spasms if I get in contact with cold liquids but it is not as intense as in previous infusions.
Two more trips or two more rounds and I'll be switched to something new for another 6 months. The doctor has ordered a breast ultrasound on July 11th. This signals to me a surgery might be in my near future. She hasn't really voiced whether the surgery will be after this first 6 rounds of chemo. I'm surmising the next two rounds completed and the surgery will be scheduled.
My neighbor just had her lumpectomy yesterday and the lump was noted as being the size of a golf ball. This woman just had a mammo last year that showed clear. One would think it would take more time for a tumor to get to be the size of a golf ball?
This makes me wonder if it was there on the last exam but overlooked. I know the yearly exams are the best we have for early detection but it still makes me question the accuracy of the tests we take.
It's raining. I would be really excited about the drop in temperature but I know that isn't going to happen. The sun is going to appear in all it's summer fury and heat up that wet ground causing intolerable humidity.
Death Valley is predicted to be 130 degrees....what global climate change?
I'll be in the house enjoying the air conditioning should you need me.
The 5FU was started this time. They did a bolus via a small bag that was infused over 15 minutes then hooked up the CADD pump, nestled it into a fanny pack like thing and secured it around my waist with a belt. I pulled my shirt over it and then ignored it for the 44 hrs. it had to be in place.
I much prefer this method then taking the pills for two weeks. The pump was placed on Tuesday afternoon and disconnected on Thursday morning at 01000hrs.
The sensitivity to cold things is much decreased. The reason being, with the infusion 5FU, the dosage had to be decreased on the Oxiliplatin. My hands still tingle and my throat still has spasms if I get in contact with cold liquids but it is not as intense as in previous infusions.
Two more trips or two more rounds and I'll be switched to something new for another 6 months. The doctor has ordered a breast ultrasound on July 11th. This signals to me a surgery might be in my near future. She hasn't really voiced whether the surgery will be after this first 6 rounds of chemo. I'm surmising the next two rounds completed and the surgery will be scheduled.
My neighbor just had her lumpectomy yesterday and the lump was noted as being the size of a golf ball. This woman just had a mammo last year that showed clear. One would think it would take more time for a tumor to get to be the size of a golf ball?
This makes me wonder if it was there on the last exam but overlooked. I know the yearly exams are the best we have for early detection but it still makes me question the accuracy of the tests we take.
It's raining. I would be really excited about the drop in temperature but I know that isn't going to happen. The sun is going to appear in all it's summer fury and heat up that wet ground causing intolerable humidity.
Death Valley is predicted to be 130 degrees....what global climate change?
I'll be in the house enjoying the air conditioning should you need me.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
We Are Very Proud of You
Maybe you take it for granted that your grown children will be there for you should you need them. Don't bank on it.
My daughter has been a rock through all the trying times lately related to my diagnosis. I hesitate to call it an illness as I don't feel "ill". I have a condition...a diagnosis of breast cancer and colon cancer, neither one exhibiting symptoms but found on exam.
Through all the tests, which seemed overwhelming and done while I was still in shock from the diagnosis, the daughter and husband have been there for me. The daughter insists she accompany me on every doctor's visit, every chemo run, every test performed and through all the surgeries and hospital time. My husband is very impressed with her dedication to my needs.
You may think I take her time and attention as a given. You would be wrong. Working in the medical profession and observing patients and family members, I can attest to the fact that some parents are ignored while struggling with an illness. Their children are just too busy to attend to them. I've seen it happen in my own family so I'm extremely appreciative of the daughter I have. Of her devotion to my well being. Of her protectiveness of me. Sometimes I have to reel her in a bit as she will quickly spring to a defensive mode on anything concerning other's treatment of me.
I'm dedicating this post to her. I could be writing the same things about the husband. They are both solid supporters and without them, I can't imagine what it would be like to go through this alone.
So to you both, I offer my humble thanks for being there for me. And to my daughter, I'm grateful that I have you and I love you very much.
My daughter has been a rock through all the trying times lately related to my diagnosis. I hesitate to call it an illness as I don't feel "ill". I have a condition...a diagnosis of breast cancer and colon cancer, neither one exhibiting symptoms but found on exam.
Through all the tests, which seemed overwhelming and done while I was still in shock from the diagnosis, the daughter and husband have been there for me. The daughter insists she accompany me on every doctor's visit, every chemo run, every test performed and through all the surgeries and hospital time. My husband is very impressed with her dedication to my needs.
You may think I take her time and attention as a given. You would be wrong. Working in the medical profession and observing patients and family members, I can attest to the fact that some parents are ignored while struggling with an illness. Their children are just too busy to attend to them. I've seen it happen in my own family so I'm extremely appreciative of the daughter I have. Of her devotion to my well being. Of her protectiveness of me. Sometimes I have to reel her in a bit as she will quickly spring to a defensive mode on anything concerning other's treatment of me.
I'm dedicating this post to her. I could be writing the same things about the husband. They are both solid supporters and without them, I can't imagine what it would be like to go through this alone.
So to you both, I offer my humble thanks for being there for me. And to my daughter, I'm grateful that I have you and I love you very much.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
I'm Hooked Up
With much trepidation, I dressed and waited for the daughter to appear. She lives close by so it didn't take long. We left in the Grand Marquis with me driving. She takes over this chore on the drive back after the chemo.\
This chemo has some very weird side effects and I think I have experienced most of them. Cold is the biggest nemesis. Walking on cold tile floors in bare feet will cause a tingling to begin which quickly turns into a burning feeling. The hands are the same. Gloves must be worn to touch anything cold. Cleaning the refrigerator was done yesterday before this visit to the clinic. Every liquid that is swallowed must be at room temperature. The throat closes up with anything cold. The sub mandibular glands clench and you know you have crossed the line on temperatures.
I've had one episode of vision change on the first run of chemo. I was grateful for the daughter being there to drive me home. On the way we stopped at McDonald's to get a little cheeseburger which caused the episode of lockjar.
The Decadron caused the "roid" feeling. I didn't get to the "rage' stage but I thought I was going to leap out of my skin. A klonopin fixed that feeling and now I know to take one about mid way through my infusions on chemo day.
I am no longer taking the Xeloda. We replaced it with the infusion medicine 5FU. The insurance companies won't pay for the Xeloda and my cost was five thousand dollars a month. 5FU is the old liquid form of Xeloda. The drug companies developed the oral form a few years ago and of course they spend millions of dollars on one page ads in the medical journals pushing it to the doctors to prescribe. They tout the fact that it is so convenient for the patient as they don't have to be accessed and have a pump in a fanny pack for 48 hrs to get the infusion. You come home with the pump and wear it for 44 hrs. Getting in the shower isn't a possibility but I think I have a bath. I'll just prop the pump part of this on a short table beside the tub and be careful around the mediport (infusion port). A sponge bath is an option too. For the cost of 5000.00, I can live with a little inconvenience. I also like the fact that I am not dumping all these chemicals into my stomach.
This pump should be disconnected at 01000 tomorrow morning. That means I wore it from 01400 hrs starting Tuesday to 01000 hrs to Thursday at 01000 hrs. Easy peasy. I don't mind at all. That saves me almost 10 days of swallowing those huge grey pills twice a day. Another upside to this is the oncologist lowered the dose on the Oxilaplatin because the liquid 5FU requires a lower dose of it. I am not having the same intense side effects this time. She (Dr. Johnson) also lowered the dose of the Decadron (the steroid) to half strength and that also cut back on the jitters. I took the Klonapin anyway. I wanted to be ready.
This has been mostly a boring post for those that aren't going through this but for those surfing for information on these drugs, it might help someone prepare and be aware of some of the side effects. Apparently I am one that is extremely sensitive to drugs (but then I already knew how drugs affected me ;-). I caught the tail end of the sixties)
In conclusion, I feel much better after Chemo 4 then after Chemo 3 and I'm so grateful. Today is the day after and except for my fanny pack, I would never know I had Chemo run number four. Hurray for me.
Dr. Johnson has ordered an ultrasound in July. I know what that is leading up to. 2 more rounds of this chemo and it will be time to address the breast issue. I'm sure she will wait until I finish this part of the chemo before she seriously considering my mastectomy. I get queasy thinking about this surgery. I likened it to losing a leg, or an arm. Body image is a strong part of our being. I have had people ask me if I were going to go through reconstructive surgery. Some have even mentioned my age and whether it was necessary.
Right now, the answer is "yes". I don't feel 64. I like to put on clothes that fit correctly. I won't have this same large bosom, and for this I'm REALLY thankful. A nice pair of C's or a single D cup would be acceptable. I'll have to let the plastic surgeon determine that based on my body size.
Enough about my day. I'm thankful I feel so much different today then what I anticipated! I'm thankful that I have a husband and daughter that keep telling me "you can do this" on the day before chemo when I get so emotional. They are ready to offer support because they know the day before chemo is a depressing day for me. I can ignore this illness for the most part but the day before chemo brings it all back in one big rush.
I'm making it. I'm going make it through this. I have no idea what the future holds after I'm finished with all this but I have only one choice and that is to Wait and See and keep on living as we all do to the end.
This chemo has some very weird side effects and I think I have experienced most of them. Cold is the biggest nemesis. Walking on cold tile floors in bare feet will cause a tingling to begin which quickly turns into a burning feeling. The hands are the same. Gloves must be worn to touch anything cold. Cleaning the refrigerator was done yesterday before this visit to the clinic. Every liquid that is swallowed must be at room temperature. The throat closes up with anything cold. The sub mandibular glands clench and you know you have crossed the line on temperatures.
I've had one episode of vision change on the first run of chemo. I was grateful for the daughter being there to drive me home. On the way we stopped at McDonald's to get a little cheeseburger which caused the episode of lockjar.
The Decadron caused the "roid" feeling. I didn't get to the "rage' stage but I thought I was going to leap out of my skin. A klonopin fixed that feeling and now I know to take one about mid way through my infusions on chemo day.
I am no longer taking the Xeloda. We replaced it with the infusion medicine 5FU. The insurance companies won't pay for the Xeloda and my cost was five thousand dollars a month. 5FU is the old liquid form of Xeloda. The drug companies developed the oral form a few years ago and of course they spend millions of dollars on one page ads in the medical journals pushing it to the doctors to prescribe. They tout the fact that it is so convenient for the patient as they don't have to be accessed and have a pump in a fanny pack for 48 hrs to get the infusion. You come home with the pump and wear it for 44 hrs. Getting in the shower isn't a possibility but I think I have a bath. I'll just prop the pump part of this on a short table beside the tub and be careful around the mediport (infusion port). A sponge bath is an option too. For the cost of 5000.00, I can live with a little inconvenience. I also like the fact that I am not dumping all these chemicals into my stomach.
This pump should be disconnected at 01000 tomorrow morning. That means I wore it from 01400 hrs starting Tuesday to 01000 hrs to Thursday at 01000 hrs. Easy peasy. I don't mind at all. That saves me almost 10 days of swallowing those huge grey pills twice a day. Another upside to this is the oncologist lowered the dose on the Oxilaplatin because the liquid 5FU requires a lower dose of it. I am not having the same intense side effects this time. She (Dr. Johnson) also lowered the dose of the Decadron (the steroid) to half strength and that also cut back on the jitters. I took the Klonapin anyway. I wanted to be ready.
This has been mostly a boring post for those that aren't going through this but for those surfing for information on these drugs, it might help someone prepare and be aware of some of the side effects. Apparently I am one that is extremely sensitive to drugs (but then I already knew how drugs affected me ;-). I caught the tail end of the sixties)
In conclusion, I feel much better after Chemo 4 then after Chemo 3 and I'm so grateful. Today is the day after and except for my fanny pack, I would never know I had Chemo run number four. Hurray for me.
Dr. Johnson has ordered an ultrasound in July. I know what that is leading up to. 2 more rounds of this chemo and it will be time to address the breast issue. I'm sure she will wait until I finish this part of the chemo before she seriously considering my mastectomy. I get queasy thinking about this surgery. I likened it to losing a leg, or an arm. Body image is a strong part of our being. I have had people ask me if I were going to go through reconstructive surgery. Some have even mentioned my age and whether it was necessary.
Right now, the answer is "yes". I don't feel 64. I like to put on clothes that fit correctly. I won't have this same large bosom, and for this I'm REALLY thankful. A nice pair of C's or a single D cup would be acceptable. I'll have to let the plastic surgeon determine that based on my body size.
Enough about my day. I'm thankful I feel so much different today then what I anticipated! I'm thankful that I have a husband and daughter that keep telling me "you can do this" on the day before chemo when I get so emotional. They are ready to offer support because they know the day before chemo is a depressing day for me. I can ignore this illness for the most part but the day before chemo brings it all back in one big rush.
I'm making it. I'm going make it through this. I have no idea what the future holds after I'm finished with all this but I have only one choice and that is to Wait and See and keep on living as we all do to the end.
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