Beating Back the Crab Grass and Wrench Work

Armed with a pump action sprayer full of Round Up, I filled the sprayer and stood over the crab grass and did battle. Within a few hours I had a long wide strip of bright golden grass. My neighbors weren't impressed.

Ok, so it doesn't look the best but neither did the crab grass which seemed to shoot upward past it's neighbors, the St. Augustine.  With the drought we have been experiencing, the only thing in that lawn that needed cut was the clumps of crab grass. 

Today I took the weed eater and mowed off the gold deadened grass until I could see some green growth. This made my neighbors happy but caused some disappointment to me. To me this means the crab grass is also still alive and waiting to attack the St. Augustine. My life has deteriorated to the point that I am now watching the interaction between two brands of grass.

Did I mention the truck? Ted's truck has developed some unhealthy behavior and is suffering from failure to thrive. Sure she cranks right up but then things quickly start downhill. No power and the engine runs smooth until it suddenly dies. I don't even attempt to do much to a vehicle now. Too many computerized parts and sensors under the hood now which require diagnostics to check them. I went looking for a mechanic and accidentally found Craigslist where mechanics were advertising. My advice. Don't do it. Do not make that phone call to one of them. They will come to your house and run a diagnostic or guess as to what the problem might be and charge a cool 50.00 t0 80.00 to tell you what they think the problem is and if you request they do the repairs the diagnostic charge will be waived. The only problem is they are not there to fix your vehicle but to collect the diagnostic charge. Nice scam if you can get it.

He showed up and after an hour I came to the conclusion that he was guessing about what the problem might be. I don't think he expected a woman to ask the questions I asked. He escaped without a dime promising to call the next day as he had another call to make and he would be back to pick up the truck...blah blah blah...and I never heard from him again. No money exchanged hands.

Tuesday we took the truck to Culotta's. We again accidentally stumbled upon this place. The truck has been down for a month and finally the daughters' boyfriend said his father and his brother who both work on their own vehicles will take theirs to Culotte's in the event they can't fix them. Suddenly more friends of the daughters were admitting to using this place and raved about them. We were off and running. 

I drove the truck there. Nobody else wanted to and I didn't trust anyone to get it there. With one foot on the gas and one on the brake, I had to keep it reved every time I had to stop to keep it from dying. There was no pickup when I would floor the accelerator. It would creep upward in speed so getting across an intersection was a bit nerve wracking.

 A day later the mechanic called with his verdict. The fuel pump needed replaced and it, of course is located in the fuel tank. I didn't even flinch at the cost nor the diagnosis but was just relieved that they were sure. Thinking about replacing sensors or computer parts until they figured it out was my biggest fear. I'm very relieved that this didn't happen. Changing out a fuel pump was never that big a deal back when I wielded a wrench but those times are gone. The days of the shade tree mechanic are past. I can still do oil changes, brakes and water pumps or replace hoses or belts. The rest of it I'll have to leave with the pros. 

I really don't mind. Wielding a wrench is hell on the manicure!

   

Thursday and Home

We packed the roadster but not before we placed Carrie in the shotgun seat. With her snacks, and groceries packed under her feet and our cold drinks tucked in beside her booster seat, the "almost trunk" lined around the edges with more groceries, we headed to Lydia. Carrie was on her way to visit her dad  until Sunday.

As we lay in bed the night before her leaving, I asked if she would miss me. "Nope" she answered. I say "Well, I'm gonna miss you!" to which she answered, "No Nana, now you can take a nap." I felt badly about her comment as I know I've said when she has been with me in the daytime and I've eyed that bed for a nap "Well, I wish I could take a nap." I didn't have to indicate that she was the reason I couldn't take a nap. She is very astute. You don't have to hit her over the head with a board for her to pick up on what is going on around her. I've promised myself that when she gets back, I'll never make that comment again. I can't handle a lot of guilt and her comment zinged right to my guilt center.

My plan today is to stay indoors and watch the Casey Anthony trial. I've missed it all of this week. Too much going on around here. It's going to be trials and naps today.

This is so off track but titillating none the less. 10 years ago I put a new dishwasher in this house and for the past 10 years it has served as a drain rack. I attempted to put it to use soon after I had it installed but found if  I didn't wash everything before running it through that dishwasher, the dishes were never cleaned.

Last week we pitched it out and had another installed. If you need a dishwasher and need an opinion on one that will actually clean them, give me a ring. Kitchen Aide is the bestest....so far.

This ad was endorsed and paid for by ....lol....just joking about the ad thing!

Shower time...

The Bully and The Bullied

Where to start? I sit here and type those three words because starting this discussion could be done from the bully's position, the one being bullied or the effect it had on everyone involved.

I recently watched a bully in action. A female and 5yrs. old, this little person was skilled in what she did which led me to believe her behavior wasn't recently acquired.

The first thing she did was make a statement to all the children within ear shot "I don't like her. I don't want her bat close to mine." and saying this she moved the offending bat to the end of the row. This caught my attention and I went on alert. I'm watching.

Observing another case of bullying between two adults and the two things both of these cases seem to have in common is jealousy which appears to be a label related to deprivation. Something is missing or unattended and deprived. The bully insists on having that need met and by force if necessary.

Facebook was the scene of the bullying between the two adults. After months of disparaging remarks, the bullied one finally deleted the bully from her list of friends. Slighted, the bully waited for an opportunity to attack. 

Frequent accusations and insinuations, she started a campaign of character assassination. The bullied one neither cared enough to challenge her nor would use a social medium to launch a counterattack. Ignoring the bullying was her approach which incited the bully that much more.

This adult made her declaration, a line drawn in the sand or across her Facebook page. We watched as it unfolded for everyone to see. No protests were made by anyone thereby silently and invisibility crediting her with their approval. Eventually a protest was broached; the bully responded angrily, quickly and with malice. No one else dared protest.


Eventually this bully convinced a few of her followers. The one bullied was tried and convicted of all matters of manufactured insults. No one cared to hear any side but that of the one doing the damning. Vicious and spiteful from being ignored, the bully continues attacking, unable to move on nor let go. The bully enjoys their status. It becomes an elixir of power.
The child bully behaved in much the same way as the adult bully. Isolating her quarry from the group, she hissed unkind words to the little girl.

Soon she was confronting the little girl. Standing nose to nose she told the child to move to the end of the dugout because she didn't like her. As soon as the bullied child encountered any of the other children in the dug out the bully would wedge herself between the children and get in the other child's face.

The little bully would glance around to make sure no body was watching. She  knew to be sly; the behavior unacceptable.

My first question was "What has made this child into the bully she is at the ripe old age of five?"

What to do?

The next ball game was arriving quickly and something had to be done.

The answer was simple. She was first up to bat. Putting her first and then lining up 3 boys to follow her, left the her to bat and then on base for most of the time the other girls were in the dugout. The little girls that were the object of her jealously were soon up to bat and the bully had finished running her bases and was back in the dug out. This protected the child being bullied but did nothing to fix the problem in this child's future. 

It was interesting to watch her behavior. She tried to change the order of batters. When that didn't work for her she asked to go see her father. I was impressed that she asked permission. I had seen her interaction earlier with her parent and she was outright defiant. 

Watching her interaction with her parent told a lot of the story. She asked him for a hug. He placed his hands on both of her shoulders and jiggled her back and forth a bit. I doubt this was what the child wanted and I'm sure she needed that hug that wasn't delivered.

The adult bully in this story? Her goal was to isolate and collect people to what she considered her "side". Juvenile as this may seem, a bully's behavior isn't an indication of being a mature adult.

My theory? This little person is attention starved. She thinks her attention from her friends is threatened by the new child so she defends her territory. The adult bully may suffer the same.

I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for this child. I stayed close to her on the field and offered praise and encouragement for her efforts in the game.

Who will be watching this child the next time she  practices her bullying? Whose life will she impact with her behavior. I shutter to think what she will be in another 10 yrs. Unless something changes in her life soon, I can see her develop into that adult bully.

4 more games left. I'll be watching to see if there is any improvement in her behavior. As special as each child is, unless they believe it and have someone in their lives that is willing to make them important, they emerge into an adult with a wider range of bullying techniques honed since childhood. 

A Bit of Everything..

I can't post comments to others who blog on this site. I've tried for weeks now only to find nothing has changed and I'm still not allowed . After being hacked on my Discover Card, I'm wondering if someone is messing with my blog account.

I say this "tongue in cheek" as I hardly believe there would be anyone that could find an advantage in hacking in to this blog. The only thing to steal would be letters arranged into words that stream into sentences that hopefully do that in some semblance of order.

I suspect that Blogger is having some issues or doing some housekeeping and their programmers have left a switch open or closed one or some other typo in the program that has left me unable to post a comment.

Ayak, I am reading your Blog, Buffalo..interesting as usual and I always read Pearl and Fragrant Liar who just did a post that had me laughing our loud while sitting here alone. If you make it to her site, read the one about wearing the Spankx..the body suit to give your body a "smooth look". Truly a funny woman!

We went to the theatre to see Mr Popper's Penguins and Carrie loved the penguins. This is her Play Doh expression!

I spend the evening with Carrie and Play Doh. She had 4 colors of Play Doh that came with a baking kit I bought for her. Those four colors dried out after a few weeks so I picked up a package of twenty four colors the last time I was in Walmart. I wish I could explain to you the joy this caused Carrie. She can't let them alone and does not want to go home and leave them. They stay here because, as most mothers, hers won't allow Play Doh in her house. I know it makes a mess but I am prepared to clean it up. She sits at the 12ft. granite counter to do her art with it so cleanup isn't bad. Cars, penguins, flowers, houses, hearts and a long list of other things roll off her hands and onto the counter top. She can sit for hours with this stuff so I say it's worth every dime I paid for it!

Last night I cleared off the glass top coffee table so she would be close by me while she worked her magic on that stuff. She was fighting to keep her eyes open when I suggested we pick it all up and put it away. She was ready to go to bed but not ready to help pick up her mess. I insisted she help though she kept telling me how tired she was. I'm usually too lenient with her and I'm ever grateful that the daughter keeps her in line. She has to learn that 'no means "NO" and the daughter always follows through on what she threatens or promises, depending on which way you want to look at it. I watch Casie Anthony and wonder if her parents followed through.

I try to remember that setting limits and saying "no" is and following through is the best thing I can do for Carrie right now.

I'm off to get a shower, water some flowers and take Carrie to see Cars 2 in 3D!!!