"Tick toc, tick toc". Time is slipping away. It's slipping right up to a surgery date I have scheduled. Some days are better then others. I have to reinforce my stamina by reading and observing online the other women that have traveled this path. It helps to read about their surgeries and how they coped.
I can't imagine having to make this choice prophylactically. How does one elect to have a double mastectomy? I have no choice in this matter as I have breast cancer and there is no other option for me. It might help if I were in pain or had some symptoms that spurred me on to this surgery.
My knee replacement, almost 5 yrs. ago was because the beginning of arthritis and the thought of not being able to walk were incentives enough for me to plan that surgery. I really had no idea of the difficulty of recovery on this and that might have been a good thing.
You Tube is where I am going today to get some reinforcement. Sometimes I wish this were already behind me and sometimes I become depressed as the time becomes closer.
I have met women locally here too that have been a great help by sharing their experiences. My pre op feelings and fears were theirs too. Somehow knowing this too helps.
I've started small steps in preparation. Silk pajamas that have a button up shirt, clothes hung at chest level (arms will not be lifted above chest level). All the shirts will have button fronts (no pullovers; again the arms above chest issue) and pull on elastic waist capris and pants (easy to dress). Starting these preparations make it more and more real.
Recovery time is different for everyone. Hopefully there will be no complications (infection) and I'll be in the 'two week' window of having the drain tubes removed. An acquaintance here was back to work in one month. Though I'm not employed, it would be wonderful if I could get back to house work and driving in the same time frame.
I don't plan on doing any holiday cooking. I'll let the daughter handle that this year.
Right now, it's time for some breakfast and more coffee! I keep telling myself "a year from now, this will be over. I'll be healed and this will just be another memory."
I'm done!
Friday, October 25, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
A Date
I have a date. It's not for dinner and a movie though. I have an appointment to see the surgeon on November 4th. The time has arrived to have the mastectomy.
Am I frightened? Yes I am. Most of my surgeries in the past has been to repair something not remove something.
My husband and daughter make the same comment. "This is what we have been working toward with the chemo." They want it to be over. They want the chemo to be finished; the radiation and the surgeries. They want me to survive this.
The surgeon will set up a surgery date when a suite is available. I'll know more after our date. I don't know if I will be in the hospital for a few days or just overnight. I've talked to others that have went in one day, stayed one night and came home and others have spent three days in the hospital.
I would love to hang around in here and chat a bit more but it's time to get Carrie out of bed, dressed and to school.
I'm out of here for a while!
Am I frightened? Yes I am. Most of my surgeries in the past has been to repair something not remove something.
My husband and daughter make the same comment. "This is what we have been working toward with the chemo." They want it to be over. They want the chemo to be finished; the radiation and the surgeries. They want me to survive this.
The surgeon will set up a surgery date when a suite is available. I'll know more after our date. I don't know if I will be in the hospital for a few days or just overnight. I've talked to others that have went in one day, stayed one night and came home and others have spent three days in the hospital.
I would love to hang around in here and chat a bit more but it's time to get Carrie out of bed, dressed and to school.
I'm out of here for a while!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Tuesday and NO Chemo
The ultrasound and a partial MRI was done last week. Monday rolled around and a phone call informed me that I was scheduled to see the doctor regarding those tests. My chemo regime is every three weeks and today (Tuesday) would have been the day I received another run of chemo. My appointments are always early in the morning. This appointment was scheduled for 11:30 A.M. I suspected what the verdict would be and I wasn't disappointed.
The surgeon will be notified to put me on a surgery schedule. First he will have me visit him at his office to discuss this procedure. Am I ready? I've known this was in my future and I've tried to ready myself. The tears flowed as I sat in that office today. I understand clinically what is going on. I can't stop the emotions.
I'm waiting on that phone call. I have no choice in this. Plan B is not an option.
The husband called as he usually does after his day of work is done. He was very supportive. "This is what we have been waiting for. Let's get this done."
Another path to follow. Plan B is not an option.
The surgeon will be notified to put me on a surgery schedule. First he will have me visit him at his office to discuss this procedure. Am I ready? I've known this was in my future and I've tried to ready myself. The tears flowed as I sat in that office today. I understand clinically what is going on. I can't stop the emotions.
I'm waiting on that phone call. I have no choice in this. Plan B is not an option.
The husband called as he usually does after his day of work is done. He was very supportive. "This is what we have been waiting for. Let's get this done."
Another path to follow. Plan B is not an option.
Friday, October 4, 2013
I'm getting Lazy on Blogging
It's not like I don't have a lot going on around here but I'm apparently just too lazy to sign in and report. First of all, the surprise birthday party "was". Carrie had no idea that there was a party at the theatre awaiting her. I had to tell a little white lie...."We are not buying out tickets first Carrie." I said to her. "We are going in this little room where they are giving away souvenirs for this movie then we will buy our tickets."
She bought it. We walked into the theatre where I sent her through the velvet ropes while I checked with the staff on the location of the "party room." Carrie approached ahead of me and I swung open the door and let her walk in below my arm. The crowd screamed "Surprise" and turned on the lights. She stood stock still. She eyed the room and ran to her mother to be hugged. IT was a success. The cake was cut and the gifts were opened ; tokens passed out and everyone headed for the room with all the video machines. Once the tokens were spent, the movie was their next stop. Holding their popcorn and drinks they headed for the reserved section of the theatre and quietly took their seats. Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs in 3 D was playing. The adults lined up one row back and directly behind them to supervise. Not one child acted out or got loud much to our relief. The whole event was a pleasant experience! This weekend another 'birthday date" will be held for Carrie. It will be her day to decide what she wants to do. The following weekend will be her actual birthday and the immediate family will gather to celebrate.
Continued of Friday:
Yesterday was the date of my Ultrasound and the MRI. The ultrasound went well. The MRI did not. As soon as the contrast was injected, I started vomiting. The buzzer I held in my right hand was squeezed and the tech entered the room. He hit the switch that slid me back out of the scanner and I continued to be sick for the next 10 minutes. As soon as I could, I dressed and left. I'm sure my doctor that ordered these tests will be notified of my reaction to the contrast. I'm waiting on a call from that office with an appointment on the next step in this journey.
And today we are watching a storm in the Gulf and hoping it doesn't reach hurricane status! It's not predicted to head us dead on but it's really too early to predict.
Yesterday I spent a lot of time in bed. Today I'm going to fire up the lawn tractor and get the mowing done before the rain comes. The husband is still in Texas on his job so I'm in charge of house and yard.
On another note, I've been watching the government's shutdown. I'll just not comment here on that silliness.
I'm done!
She bought it. We walked into the theatre where I sent her through the velvet ropes while I checked with the staff on the location of the "party room." Carrie approached ahead of me and I swung open the door and let her walk in below my arm. The crowd screamed "Surprise" and turned on the lights. She stood stock still. She eyed the room and ran to her mother to be hugged. IT was a success. The cake was cut and the gifts were opened ; tokens passed out and everyone headed for the room with all the video machines. Once the tokens were spent, the movie was their next stop. Holding their popcorn and drinks they headed for the reserved section of the theatre and quietly took their seats. Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs in 3 D was playing. The adults lined up one row back and directly behind them to supervise. Not one child acted out or got loud much to our relief. The whole event was a pleasant experience! This weekend another 'birthday date" will be held for Carrie. It will be her day to decide what she wants to do. The following weekend will be her actual birthday and the immediate family will gather to celebrate.
Continued of Friday:
Yesterday was the date of my Ultrasound and the MRI. The ultrasound went well. The MRI did not. As soon as the contrast was injected, I started vomiting. The buzzer I held in my right hand was squeezed and the tech entered the room. He hit the switch that slid me back out of the scanner and I continued to be sick for the next 10 minutes. As soon as I could, I dressed and left. I'm sure my doctor that ordered these tests will be notified of my reaction to the contrast. I'm waiting on a call from that office with an appointment on the next step in this journey.
And today we are watching a storm in the Gulf and hoping it doesn't reach hurricane status! It's not predicted to head us dead on but it's really too early to predict.
Yesterday I spent a lot of time in bed. Today I'm going to fire up the lawn tractor and get the mowing done before the rain comes. The husband is still in Texas on his job so I'm in charge of house and yard.
On another note, I've been watching the government's shutdown. I'll just not comment here on that silliness.
I'm done!
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