Sunday Afternoon, Rain and Humidity

I'm resting yet again. Early this morning I focused on a few chores and fresh linens on my bed was high on my list of things to get done. I was breathless by the time I had finished. I do not let this distress me as I know it's the low red blood cells that cause this. I slow down a bit or take a short break and then continue on with what I'm trying to do.

Earlier then the bed making, I watered. This takes over an hour to do. I set the sprinkler to one area for 10 minutes, set an alarm and move it to another area for another 10 minutes. My ferns are lovely and I want them to stay that way. I've been keeping up with the watering all through this summer. The asparagus fern and the fox tail ferns are something to be proud of, especially since I usually slack off on these duties as the summer wears on and they always suffer from my neglect.

And then it rained. It rained all afternoon. It rained as I changed the linen on the bed. From the floor to ceiling window in my bedroom, I watched it splash huge fat drops on the concrete driveway that adjoins our lawn. I could hear it pinging off the air conditioner unit. The red hibiscus beneath the window was bathed in wetness, the leaves glistening as the dust was washed off them. We needed this rain. The grass will need to be mowed tomorrow. It springs up quickly after a little moisture.

Dinner will be "out". I don't know where but I do know there will be no cooking in my kitchen today. This is the husband's idea and who am I to argue? I'm too lazy to do dishes. I'm not to lazy to get dressed for dinner.

I'm done for now.
and I'm gone.

Shine On!

Showered and dressed, I was heading for Walmart. My short black skirt was topped by a white blouse with mid length sleeves. A crocheted black vest was worn over the blouse, a pair of shiny black sandals adorned my feet. I felt right spiffy.

My eyebrows had been filled in with some powder, the eyes lined and the lips rouged, I was ready for this adventure. I stopped by to pick up Pat for this trip. I might need the support of a friend.

You see, I was tossing the wig, the scarfs and the hats and venturing forth au naturelle.  My smooth hairless head was making it's debut in public. I wanted to be aware of the people's expressions as I wandered around the store. This was difficult to do as I actually forgot that I was bald.  I wandered the rows of the store and to my amazement, there wasn't a lot of head turning nor stares. People nodded and smiled and moved on.

I'm free! I can make a choice to go with or without a head covering. How liberating!  In time the hair will grow back. I'm going to enjoy just being. I"m sure I'll have days where I will want to wear a wig but for now, I'm satisfied with braving the public "as is".

The Waiting in The Waiting Room

Three weeks zoom by and it's once again time for me to be tanked up with chemicals. My appointments are scheduled early with the first one meeting with the oncologist.

Her over bright smile and over whitened teeth are the first thing you notice as she enters the room. Laptop in hand she greets us and surveys the atmosphere. It's best to go with the temperature of the room when one is working that same room. Much like an entertainer, the doctor gauges the emotions and proceeds.

Questions are broached, answers are extended and the interview quietly comes to a halt. The blood tests are surveyed and discussed and this meeting is over. I'll visit the business office to pay for this visit since it is not covered in my insurance policy then I'll move to the waiting room once again to await my call to the infusion center.

Through the swinging doors, I plow with all my entertainment stuff that will keep me occupied for the 3 hrs it takes to get the infusion.

She sits tall and straight directly in the chairs in the middle of the room. A tall woman around mid thirties, she quietly waits her turn. Her cotton shirt and Levi jeans bore a soft casual look to her calm appearance.

I've seen this woman the last time I was here. She sits there with her bald head uncovered, a high shine on her pate, makeup on and a healthy tan to her face and head. Usually her 10 yr. old son accompanies her.

This time I was going to touch base with her. I walked over and bent down to her eye level and asked
"Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

She smiled her  beautiful lips pulled back to expose even perfectly molded teeth and said
"Why of course not!"

"Do you go everywhere without a head scarf, wig or cap? Do you go shopping and out to eat without covering your skull?"

She grinned and said
"Yep, everywhere! I get lots of hugs and prayers from people that see me."

And there folks, is the best reason to let er shine!
I admire this young woman's candor; her "this is me, take it or leave it" attitude.

As we talked on the walk back to the infusion room, she shared that she was engaged when she was diagnosed and he immediately broke the engagement and moved on.
One always wonders in situations like this what the other partner in a relationship would do. Though I have been with my husband for over 30 yrs. the anxiety is still there.

How well do you really know the person you are with? I'm grateful that I have a husband that is very supportive and caring and protective of me right now.

It's ok if I feel like doing nothing around the house. "REST" he insists. "I'll do it for you. Go sit down."

When my hair fell out he was out of town. To prepare him, I sent picture updates as it was happening and then the day came where it was shaved. Not a flicker of disgust, he said "It's just hair. I love you for more then your hair."
He was gone on a long job. After arriving home and assuring me all was well, he has slipped into his usual banter and jokes. Now it's "Kojak, can you dim the light on that head of yours?"
Tonight he hold me he actually preferred the "no hair look".

We shall see how this unfolds. I'm getting braver every day. Now I wonder around the front yard in all my baldness and wave and smile as the neighbors drive or jog by.

One more hurdle leaped and survived. Today and hopefully tomorrow, I savor the days.

Neulasta Injection; and The Wall

Yesterday was a day to get things done. Alert and amped, I raced around getting things done. I didn't feel tired so I took advantage of the good feeling and got outside to do lots of lawn work.

Today I've slept most of the day. I turned off the telephone and climbed into bed after going for my injection. I'm just sleepy.

The husband made it home late last night. He has slept all day too. His job was long, hot and tiring and too many days away from home, he is happy to be back. His stay won't be long but at least the next job is only hours away.
Hopefully I will be able to spend some time out of town on this one.

I'm going to curl back up and sleep. I'm done here.